Sunday, January 24, 2010

Admin Post

Alright my fellow AhLian haters! Some Admin to clear up and start 2010 (even though we are 24 days late)

We regret to inform you that AALteam will not be updating as frequently as before, as we ARE busy people with lives as some twits claim that we have no life. Boo-hoo-hoo :'(

We are, however, glad to inform you that we DO accept Guest Posts. So please send in your posts to:

Our team will take the time to read through it and see if it is AALteam material!
Do take note that we do not check our e-mail frequently, so our replies may be a tad slow.

AALteam would also like to thank our fans who have supported us since 2006 onwards. Outstanding people like De Maitre, who has always been commenting against twitheads, thank you for your support. We at AALteam really appreciate it :)

On non-related Admin issues..

Tao Eh is closing his blog :( so ah lians, i'm sorry. It seems like you won't be able to look for a AhBeng boyfriend in their Find Stead Department.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Tao Eh!

I'm in love. :D

I never laughed so hard this year. (Y)

Ah lians, please sign up with their Find Stead Department.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


Well I honestly did not intend to post for several more weeks, however...

Anonymous Clarence Teo said...

Eiius all stop making fun of ahlians okiies? My gf is a ahlian and shoo whats? FUCK UP STUPID AALTEAM.


3:57 PM

*Doubles over laughing*

Oh my goodness! Eiius want to pick a fight? Eiius want to beat us up? Is Eiius girlfriend like the one we mentioned above?

EiiusEiiusEiiusEiiusEiiusEiius worrrrx. It's almost as entertaining as the "boomz"

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I'm back from prison :D

Cheerios! AAL#2 is back from prison. Har-dee-harhar :D

Personally, I do find this year's twits a tad more retarded than the previous generation of twits.

They are, in fact, lacking a certain gray matter up there *taps head*

For example:

Waiting at a traffic light on the streets of Orchard during a weekend, I saw and overheard a conversation of twittery.

*Guy walks up to AhLian#1 and #2*
Guy to AhLian#1: Erm.. You're very pretty. Can I have your handphone number?
(In the background, a whole group of his friends are laughing. You can guess immediately that it is a dare)
AhLian#1: For what?
Guy: Uh.. get to know you better?
AhLian#2: *arrogant voice* She lost her phone.
AhLian#1: Ya.

AhLian#1&#2 swagger off in their white hot shorts. AhLian#1's bright red phone with her gazillion handphone keychains are sticking out of her butt pocket.

How smart :D

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Ah Lians and DSLRs

Newsflash from AALteam:

We regret to inform you, but AALteam is closing down. Instead, we will be setting up a blog that is all about professional photography.


Naw, we're just kidding about the top part. AALteam's back with a short update! \m/

On the topic of DSLRs, has anyone noticed that ahlians are starting to purchase DSLRs for the sake of..*GASP*

Bloodyfag! This.. THIS IS A CATASROPHE! This is a pandemic! This is utter CHAOS! This… THIS IS MADNESS!

The ahlians have gone HIGH-CLASS!

Everyone knows that DSLRs have fantastic awesome superly-super fast shutter speeds. Maybe ah lians have SUDDENLY realized that!!!
Camwhore efficiency +75%

Lost are the days where ahlians buy cheapo imitations. These days, ahlians want the REAL DEAL! How they get the money, we have ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE :D You can make your guesses though.

So AAL1 and I were enjoying the moshpit of the IT Fair on Saturday, and OHMIGAWRRRDZZZZZZ We saw an AHLIAN and her friendzzz with a Nikon d40! Must be recently purchased one.


Aiiy00x , shUtt3r sp33dd sh00 ffAstt w0rrX!
DSLR l00kk sh00 pR0 aaNd chii0x w0rrX!
m3Gaapiixx sh000 hiiGhh w0rrX!!!

The best part?


At which AAL1 and I burst out laughing when we walked behind them and saw their blurrish photo captured with the d40. Nice one ah lians!

A bit rusty after not blogging for so long. Hey, I tried to google ahlian! AND GUESS WHAT?
It works!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Xiia0 BiitCh worhx.

Oh my. Oh my oh my oh my :D I just ADORE comments! They always never fail to crack me up HaHaHaHaHa!

For awhile, I noticed that the comments on our posts have mainly been from AAL supporters, those who are so called "neutral" and ah lians trying to type in good English. Yes I am actually quite shocked, and I was wondering if the ah lians who have been reading this blog, are either not commenting to spare themselves the agony and shame, or trying to type in good English to prove themselves wrong to us.

BOY WAS I PROVEN WRONG HA HA HA! Ah Lians are just so entertaining :D

And they have not failed us! The previous comments on the Admin post left me grinning from ear to ear because AH LIANS HAVE STRUCK AGAIN!! WOW!

So yes, they have ruled out my theory of ah lians trying to type in good English here to prove to us that they're not as dumb as they seem to be.

And so, I have quoted the precious moments here for easier reference :D

Anonymous said...
ehs , wad is sho bad about ah
lian siah? if uiie quai kiah then every ah lian sure come find uiie lorrhs sho
darinq post it here diao -.- whr uiie stay arrhs? fakinq lil bitch luhhs hor
11:50 PM

Xia0BITCH said...
AAAAAA , siao eh .Post more
your head lahs . NB !You shoo bo liao ish it ?Come here pei they type all those
rubbish ! Fcuking hell .CB lahs , don't saee my SWEETIE lahs horhs ,never die
before .
11:56 PM

Anonymous said...
doqq luhhs hor put my laopo
url kam lan? nahbeh .
12:07 AM

xiaoshy said...
i dont know why ue guys open
AAL i mean its so lame . are ue jealous because ue cant qert in cause they say
ue nort pretty enough , sorry for makinq me sayinq this so straiqht just stop
being such losers okays :]
4:11 AM

♥ 小PURPLE said...
wads sho bad about ah lian
siah? at least all r prettier than uiie who hate ah lian lorrhs lame siah , hate
ah lian jiu hate luhhs niid open AAL mehhs? diao -.-
6:55 PM

Xia0BITCH said...
Heyys , xiaoshy ,i super agree
with you uhs ;D
10:22 PM

Xia0BITCH said...
Heyys , please lahs .You
mother give birth toyou let you stare at ppl si bo ?!Stare wht stare , like
never stare before . I know why you all stare liaos lahs .Cause ahlians are more
fashion type mahs , dhen you all see liaos think very funny why they wear wear
like that right ? CB lahs .LOLS , i'm shoo lame -.-'Okays stop playing . Ahlian
are more fashion lahs ,this ish th truth . No likeyou all "guai bao bao" , wear
till like lao auntie lao uncle like that . ohmytians .Aliens !!! -.-'

I swear. One of the commentors, Xia0BITCH made me laugh till I nearly fell off my chair! First of all, her nickname alone makes me wonder, if she calls and degrades herself by naming herself as a bitch, when other people call her that, would she not call her million and one 'gan kors' and 'gan di's' to come and bash that person up??? :O After all, she did mention the very infamous phrase of "stare what stare!" and we all know what comes after THAT phrase *rolls eyes* :D

I doubt many of us here are jealous of you ah lians anyway.

  1. Why would we be jealous of a group of people who speak bad English and type in an alien language that isn't going to get them anywhere but into jail?
  2. Why would and SHOULD we be jealous of looking EXACTLY like another ten thousand other ah lians? (same hair same taste in clothes same stupid retarded nicknames like XiaoBITCH, xiaoSILLY and xiaoSTUPID and any other xiiao xiiao xiao) WHERE IS THE ORIGINALITY???
  3. Why would we want to be jealous of a group who goes around bashing people up for staring at them? Come on. If you HONESTLY think that people are staring at you out of JEALOUSY that you're so-called 'prettier', THEN SHOULD YOU NOT BE FLATTERED RATHER THAN ANGERED? Hellooo? Common sense.

Besides amusing comments, another thing that got me thinking in a very self-amused way after reading the comments.


Some of you may have received the prank sms about the hoax bombing at Bugis.

So I was thinking... maybe the idiot who started this hoax just wanted to scare all the ah lians and ah bengs away from bugis so he could go shopping without having the noise pollution of wonderful colourful Hokkien vulgarities for once.

Let's try re-writing it for fun :D

you can send in your own versions to our gmail or leave it as a comment, but please DO NOT MASS SEND IT OUT, because whoever sends out hoax smses about such a serious issue has to be a complete and utter retard for thinking that they can misuse such a serious threat against the securities and authorities.

Actual news report:

Original text:

Kindly spread e news 2 yr friends. If possible, dun go Bugis these few days. Terrorists may plant bomb ard that area. This msg was forwarded from my friend's army friend who are alrdy on 24hrs standby. Not sure how true but i was told dat dere quite a number of policemen patrolling ard. just be safe than sorry! hv a nice weekend ahead though!

Re-written text:

Kindly spread the news to your friends. If possible, don't go to Bugis these few days, or better still, never set foot there again. There has been a serious viral infection known as "Ahlianitis" that is said to kill people with high level of annoyance and stupidity. This msg was forwarded from my friend's friend working in the hospital and is on 24hrs standby. Not sure how true but i was told that the area has been quarantined. Better to be safe than sorry! Have a nice weekend ahead though!

Lengthy yes, but my brain is laughing and I can't think straight and neither can I think of a better one. So send in your versions or post them as comments if you think you have a better version!

Take note this is for purely amusement purposes. You should not ever mass send hoax smses that threaten our country's safety because it is the most stupid thing you can do.

xoxo, hugs and bimbotic kisses,

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Admin post.

Goodness gracious me.

I have just checked our gmail account and realized none of us have checked in since April last year.

Tee-hee :D

Anyway, an update:

our hotmail account is no longer in use. None of us can remember the password and we can't be bothered to activate it. So the email we are using from now on will only be the gmail account:

AND in relation to our last last post, THE CONTEST, we are proud to present that WE HAVE RECEIVED NO SUBMISSIONS SO FAR!!
maybe there might have been some in the hotmail account but heck who the hell cares we can't access it heeeheeeheee.

Well that's about it for today's post, short and sweet, not really an update about ah lians, just admin matters.

Send us your love! ;)

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Happy Chinese New Year LARRHX

Really. That joke is over-rated already.


mmust qqet manniiee manniiee anqqba0s worrx!

our spokesperson for this CNY! Some random twit from friendster! WOW!
(actually we just typed "xiiao" in the search box and clicked on a random number and then a random profile)

"My real name cloudie"

Oh hello cloudie how are your New Year celebrations coming along?

"i feel today will find my boyfriend"

You mean the "today" newspaper or you will find your boyfriend today?

"i in thinking"

Okay we'll let your brain slowly process it.
Don't understand [IIIIIIIIIIIhanghanghanghang ] Understand
Loading 24%

"i in boring"

You haven't answered our question?!?!

"i in happy"

You know what? I don't care. Another twit, another CNY. Go spend your money on 'show-off-your-butt-hotshots and skinnies and whatever shit in Bugis

"i feel alone"

so sad! :(


Sunday, January 18, 2009

Long Time No Blog!

Indeed like the title says, long time no blog!
Yeah yeah here's a super late Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year wish from AALteam *cheers wildly and waves flags*

Don't get your hopes too high because this is just a ranting post hohoho =D

Frankly speaking Ah Lians and their counter-parts are starting to bore me. They're like clones. Once you've seen one, you've seen them all. I won't go through the whole "they-all-look-the-same-wearing-either-skinnes-or-hotshorts-that-are-so-short-you-can-see-half-their-butt" thing because I think the whole Singapore from Boon Lay to Changi has seen them. (Well OBVIOUSLY! They're EVERYWHERE! Multiplying like maggots!) <-- i'm going to get flamed for this TEE-HEE.

I've been busy, the whole team has been busy with our own lives and avoiding Ah Lians like the plague. But that doesn't mean that we're shutting down or whatever shit. We're just bored of them. We MAY try some social experiments on reactions of Ah Lians if we ever get too bored though. (You can even try some of your own and e-mail us! That is, IF we check our mail. I think the email account has inactive for months hahahaha. Not that I care. None of us really bothers to check mail :D)

On a separate issues, I wonder how long flame- no wait, I'll give them a more professional name: CRITICS will continue to repeat arguements over and over again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and (you get the idea) I mean, DON'T YOU EVER GET BORED??? I know I got bored reading through the comments. Hell, I fell asleep reading a comment! (either that or I have short attention spans)

First, the kind who starts off saying "Oh I hate Ah Lians, I don't support them..." and then suddenly pipe up with the "BUT I DISAPPROVE OF YOU PEOPLE WHEN YOU POST THEIR PHOTOS ON THE INTERNET BLAHBLAHBLAH" are you BLIND? Or do you need to check your eyes??? GO SEARCH THIS ENTIRE BLOG. Are there any pictures or photos in which have the FACES of an Ah Lian whom you can recognize??

Maybe you can actually see their faces behind our wonderful censorship! Maybe you're "PixelMan!" In which your powers is the ability to see behind layers of pixels :D Wow that's a useful talent. We should recruit you to help us see if Ah Lians photoshop their photos to make themselves look slimmer/take away their pimples/enlargeeee their eyes.

Would you like a contest? Here's a contest!

If you can single-handedly name all the Ah Lians who's photos have been on this blog (yes, even the censored ones) then you win!

Here are the rules:
  • You have to send in the photo of the Ah Lian, taken from our blog,, include her name, age, school, whatever particulars you know about her.
  • You can't get help. Do it yourself.
  • Leave a comment on this post to state if you have completed this contest, and wait for our reply because we have to go activate our stale e-mail account (Hurray) and then e-mail your entry to us.
  • If you win... GUESS WHAT I DON'T CARE IF YOU WIN :D I'm not the least interested in who the hell those Ah Lians are because the names they give themselves aren't even REAL. "xiia0 zhuzhu", "xiia0stupiiiddddxxx", "xiia0 justgoanddiealready"

So if you win, whoop-dee-do! I'll post your name here REAAAAAAAAAAAALLY big and say TADAHHHHH! WINNER! Ah Lians! YOU HAVE BEEN RECOGNIZED :D

So STAY TUNED for the results!

And if there aren't any, go find all the other Anti-Ah Lian and Ah Beng websites to surf. I'm sure there are a few left in the last post's comments. Something aalteam2 (Oi name not original! But what the heck.) and I know there used to be a TIARAteam somewhere but their blog's gone.

Send in your entries NOW!

with much LOVE to all our supporters and even the faggots/scumbags/twits,

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


This was something I read, which I found to be rather amusing. (You can find it at the comments on the last post)

My thoughts will be in italic red :D

Shaery said...
actually, you can't blame for any girls to be ah lian lah. They are form of an singaporean art.
ART? Ah Lians, a form of Art? You know, the last I heard, a messy bed was a form of art.

Although you hate them, you should try to be them, put you in their shoes.
Fuck NO! I wouldn't like to smoke my way to death. Or glue sniff and throw myself off a building.

Not they don't want to study. Its the fact that not everyone can be pratically study, some are on hands on. Thus, leading them to stop attending school , as they get this form of reaction " sian lah ". As they feel they do not gain anything from studying ( pratically ).
No, it's because they DON'T WANT to study. I have heard of Ah Lians who can excel in their studies. They CHOOSE not to study because they rather go romp around somewhere doing things they think is cool. I myself am a hands on learner. I don't like to study. Hell, I didn't turn out like them! :D

Or some other girls, they have family problems such as e.g father mistress leading to divorce, gambling, drug taking all the leadings to broken family, the normal people living in proper lifes and family do not understand how they felt.
What about those people who have family problems and are still sane? Are you trying to imply that everyone with family matters will turn Ah Lian or Ah Beng? Don't compare when you can't.

And yes, they don't accept them in their "normal,happy family" society. And this actually leads to the girls being an ah lian. Getting into bad companys.
Your English is utterly horrible. Someone translate please? I can only understand "getting into bad COMPANY" that one, I agree! Ah Lians are all bad company. ;D

But my ending would be great, i believe being an ah lian is much better, you see they live more happily then you people who have to trouble so much to go office, see boss face even blowcow, give your bosses sex which is even worste than ah lians to get into the position you want.
If you consider getting high on drugs and commiting suicide and letting your "friends" weep at your death "HAPPY", or if you consider going to the girl's home or jail or getting thrown out by your own family "HAPPY", I have nothing to say but BOY ARE YOU WARPED :D
Having sex with your boss to move up in the company? Oh my. You've been reading too many comics. It happens, but majority WORK for those positions. How? Through studying. Through working hard. Sounds unfamiliar? Look it up in the dictionary. Here:

Worry about exam grades, which school to go, earning how much? so much trouble. I support ah lian, if im the society i truly accept them, they are form of art, when they love a guy they will go for it, they give sex to people whom they love, not for the position.
Are you one? Who wouldn't worry about your exam grades? Until you don't give a damn about studies and don't care if you are jobless and have no education. Which completely contradicts your stand of "Not they don't want to study." Hahahaha hello Ah Lians will have sex with anyone. A guy they love? Their boyfriends change as often as they change their UNDERWEAR. So that would mean that they have sex extremely often with their multiple boyfriends?

So yes, im not saying you have no life, i just want you to learn them as a form of art. Do you see america having people called " ah lian " they are much more scary, if you post about them like you post about ah lians, they'll track you down, and shoot you down.
Again, explain how they are "A FORM OF ART". And Americans do not have "Ah Lians" they have gangsters. Real gangsters. Not wannabe gangster poseurs aka Ah Lians and Ah Bengs. They have the freedom of easily getting weapons and they have the space (Compare US to SG land size please) to run about.

Really, just give yourself a chance alot you hate ah lian, try to learn about them more. They have much good side, count out the bad side. God bless you
We know about them ;D Thank YOU.

I still think this person has a very warped idea on the status/position of a company firm. On the other hand, if this person ever joins a company, I wonder how things will turn out. Hmm!


Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Guess who's back?



We're BACK with more invasion of twits!

Now some of you have been asking Why do we not feature Ah Bengs?

The reason is simple. If we put in Ah Bengs then our blog URL wouldn't be so nice.

Come on.

Anti-Ah-Lians-Team. (AALteam)
Anti-Ah-Lians-And-Ah-Bengs-Team. (AALAABteam)

I think the first sounds better. Plus, if we had put AABteam, it just sounds weird.

But that's not the point, really.

Why we put Ah Lians is because it's much more interesting yet dangerous.

Ah Lians? Dangerous? HAHA. Is what some of you think. Aren't the Bengs doing all the fighting? Aren't they the more powerful ones in a gang?

AH-HAH! That's where you're wrong. :)

We all know that guys are upfront and say things directly to your face, whereas girls rather keep it to themselves and bitch behind your backs. In this case, I would say that the Ah Lians are the more dangerous of the species.

I think we've mentioned this before but i'll say it again.

Ah Lians are the true masterminds behind the 'gan family gang' or whatever shit you call it. (I really don't give a damn)

  • They get 'insulted' with a stare or comment and call the guys to beat those who insulted them in their place. (Meaning, the Ah Bengs are merely being used to do their filthy work)
  • They make use of their Beng 'boyfriends'. (buy this buy that to prove your love! HINT on your blog want list. E.g. Last l0nqq wiibe miiee b0ii ... Followed by: c0upple riinqqs, matchiinqq blah blah blah or whatever shit she wants.)
  • They think the world of themselves. (I want this, you better give it to me before I throw a bitch fit and sic my gang on you. Not one can stop me! Even my parents don't care. Everyone owes ME. They have to do things for ME, not the other way round. If I do things for you, i'll take note of it and make sure you do something back for me in return.)
  • They're just plain annoying. They can annoy you out of your skulls! Hell! With this power who WOULDN'T listen to her to stop her from annoying them? Hah!

Ah but enough of that.

This is just a short post after many months of MIA. We have and still are observing you! YOU JUST DON'T KNOW IT.


Oh yes by the way, I'm going to count how many people post and comment things like "omgggg so childish just grow up and die", "you all are so lame! Just delete your blog lah", or other random shit like that. It's funny when you realize that all the comments are starting to sound the same no matter what we blog.


Tuesday, March 04, 2008



Return of the SKINNIES!

Skinny is the new FAT.


We carry the classic BLACK skinnies. They make your legs look SUPER skinny! ;D

We also carry the RED HOT skinnies! POPULAR, TRENDY, often worn with MY SUPERMAN LOGO T-shirt!

But come on. If you want your legs to look ULTRA SUPER SKINNY, follow me and wear SEXY and FITTING TIGHTS! :D Ooh-la-la!

You can't beat TIGHTS.

Now comes in Kawaii Grey Hello-Kitty Rabbit Style!




And while you're at it, look out for THIS guy. =D
*credits to*

Cheers! aal#2

Friday, January 11, 2008


Skinny pants make people's feet look horribly huge in my opinion. =D
It's become a habit for me to stare at their feet whenever i see people wearing skinny pants.
Especially when worn with sneakers or closed-toed shoes.
And those striking colours like lime green, red and hot pink....those make me... *shudders*

But that's just my opinion. Heh.


Thursday, November 08, 2007

Don't Bully the Brits! D:<

I'm sure everyone would have heard of this issue by now. The bullying of a Singapore elderly by British tourists.

While I do admit that the actions of the British tourists were indeed a very immature act which prominantly displayed their lack of moral values, it is in my opinion that the Singaporean commenters were no better than them or even worst, and I'm sure that many of them were twits. This can be easily seen by the language they had used in commenting and the mindless threats they had issued to the tourists.

Their many ridiculous comments like:

" bloody cb no hair bully old uncle, no balls to take on younger ppl izzit fucking UK no gov teaching izzit?"



have resulted in people thinking of Singaporeans as violent people who have not much manners. Though this has not been openly admitted (because it would be rude), one can tell simply from the tone of non-Singaporean writers.

So here I am, issuing a plea to all twits, male and female alike.


Your violent, vulgarities filled comments online is seriously giving people bad impressions of Singaporeans, so please do everyone a favour and keep your comments to yourself.

Anyway, I'm very sure that many twits would be guilty of the very same actions themselves, so please, do something about your own moral education before commenting on yourselves.

aal #3

Thursday, November 01, 2007

A Post.

Four letters. HA HA.

I find it really amusing that people would put up a blog to rival us out of spite. I wonder if they did it out of pure spite or anger that we took down their only way of spamming and flaming.

Anyhow. A thought struck me while i was browsing through their web (just add an "anti" in front of our url and that's it) and that was, "gee, how un-original can they get." I mean, hell they used our url and stuck a "anti" in front of it, their posts are just rebelling against what we wrote (and interestingly enough, they're proving all our points Haha)

And then i thought. Hey if this blog happened to close down or stop posting, i wonder what they'll blog about. Ironically, they're against us, yet they seem to depend on our material to counter us. Ahh the joy of contradiction and irony.

Looking through many of the past tagwars, there's also this issue of ah lians hating and discriminating "nerds". According to them, nerds seem to be hardcore muggers and use the computer all the time. Geniuses/scientists/etc.

So i have a question. Can you live like a caveman for a week?
That's right. Caveman. CAAAAVEMAN. No tv, no handphone, no ipod, no laptop, no computer, no PDA, no mp3, no mp4, no discman, no camera, no video cam, hell, no lightbulbs no flushing-toilets, no air-con, no fan, no electricity, etc you get the idea. Simply, you, yourself and the wall.

Because these people who invented all these seem to be what ah lians describe as nerds. And since ah lians don't like nerds, they should boycott their items. :D I don't think they can even last 5 days without any electricity whatsoever. Then again, who cares.

Bringing me to yet another point. Some of you readers are right. Why the heck should we care about ah lians and what they intend to do? Then i thought, yeah we shouldn't care. We should just ignore them, let them be. If they die, they die. If they are thrown into jail, they're thrown into jail. If they get away scott-free with theft, they get away. If they bash up close friends, yeah we should let them continue. It's their damn life isn't it. They can end up as hobos and i wouldn't give a hoot.

And then i saw their new website. Not only did they turn everything we said into the exact opposite (i don't really care about that) but now it seems like they're saying that beating people up is good. Smoking gives you a long life and theft is da bomb.

What type of morals are those? All those CME lessons wasted. Back to the point, while we here have censored more than half, close to 70% or more of the photos and backing down a lot, those creatures over there are promoting everything that's against the law, and they still say that we're challenging the authorities.

Once again, let us embrace the wonderful irony of this cracked-up world.


Saturday, October 27, 2007

Temp. Removal of Cbox and etc.

Hullo readers! You should have realized by now that our wonderful superduper Cbox is....GONE. *hears collective gasps-

Yes it's gone. For now. Recently, our Cbox has been complaining of being overworked by an endless stream of people, in which the tags come in fast and furiously. Anyhoo. We've temporarily removed the tagboard, so you can all post comments instead :D

Yes yes i know we haven't done a proper post for decades, but aal#3 is supposed to do the next post and well, aal#3's tied up right now. So hang tight readers! We should be updating soon. :)
(Because if we update a usual post people will complain that we repeat our posts and have nothing new and they'll all moo about complaining the living daylights out get the idea.)

ps: AALteam is NOT a all-girl team.
pps: You can's say that there are more pro-aal and anti-aal taggers because you have tag-wars with pro and anti aal people winning. (sometimes one group totally pwns the other group)

Okay actually what i've seen on the tagboard is that pro-aal members (Yay!) are whacking a lot of ah lians and spammers who just whack the tagboard (not literally of course. Ouch.) Then you have the neutral party (lol history/ss) and the anti-s. It's actually fun to view the tag-war. Because you have the neutral people trahing it out, listing all the bad points of this blog, and at the very end they leave the conversation with "I love the blog. This blog rocks."

Talk about irony. Hah!

Moving on moving on. We're sorry for all the trouble but hey! Spammers are going to be veeeeeeeery unsucessful in wiping out this comment-war. And you get to read all past entries with no worries. (because Cbox has a limit)

Have a great time readers! :)

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Ah Lian Online REHAB

Just like the title says! This post will be alllll about those poor souls out there who want to stop being a twit and find THE Cure for ahlian-i-sm! :D

There are Three stages of AhLianIsm.
Stage One is for the AhLian wannabes.
Stage Two reagrds the On-and-Off AhLian. (ie: They look twit, type twit but can't stand true-blue AhLians.)
Stage THREE, probably the worse, scariest stage of AhLianIsm....The Chao AhLian.
Oh yes the Chao Ah Lian partakes in every single Chao AhLian (CAL) activity ever known to mankind. Such as...smoking, stealing, vandalizing, swearing at the whole world day and night, violence and gangsterism(poser gangs of course. REAL gangs don't run away from the call of "POLICE COME LE ZHAO ZHAO ZHAO*!") (zhao is a chinese term for run away)

Where was i. Oh yes. Rehab. :)

Stage One is easy to cure. So listen up puny little wannabe AhLian-ers. Or in this case, read carefully. :D

All you have to do is...
#1. Clear out your closet and GO SHOPPING. (Wheee you say, but what i mean is Clear out the Pinky SeasonWear and go shopping for some other colours like green, not pink, blue, not pink, grey, white, did i mention no pink?)

#2. Get a proper hair cut. (By hair cut i mean NO rebonding of already straight hair.)

#3. Listen to your English teacher. Pay attention during English lessons and drop the AlTerNatE cAps MoDe and the X's and the Z's at thex backz of your wordx.

If you can overcome this stage then, WHOOPIE! You might just have been cured. Yay.

Stage Two is more demanding.

#1. Closet CleanOut! (same as Stage One #1)

#2. Snip-Snip! Haircut! (Same applies. No rebonding of ALREADY straight hair and for gosh sakes don't start a curtain shop or grow your own curtains. I know DIY is a lot cheaper but....just don't. You need BOTH eyes achieve maximum sight!)

#3. Again, drop the typing fiasco. You may think it's original but hey. Look at allll the AhLians out there doing the same thing. Girls, it ain't original anymore. Scrap the double letters liikee tthesee. We're not telling you to give up blogging or MySpace if you love it but try typing using proper or easy-on-the-eyes English.

#4. Buy Listerine. Not that your breath stinks but your words sure do. Do away with the Hokkien vulgarities and give yourself some respect. It'll save your butts from getting into trouble with the teachers and it'll stop making people look at you with disgust.

#5. Pick up a hobby. We know you all love go study it from different angles. Take NICE photos of yourself that make sense, photos you can keep and show to the kids down the road without going "Ohmygawd what was i thinking back then!?" Take photos of the sights around you! Not all 100 photos of Friendster has to be on you, yourself and you.

#6. Major revamp of technology! You don't have to get all pinky stuff with glitter and millions and millions of neoprints and bling stuck to you handphone/mp3/mp4/ipod, etc. Basics will do. AND! Trash all that techno away! Listen to some other genre of music. Techno will make you bop your head off one day. Or drive you to insanity. Blogskins don't always have to be black and pink, black or emo background. Have something bright for once. And stop those silly popups like "Helloows" "pleasee taggies miiee". They just annoy the heck out of people.

#7. RESIST! The most difficult one to overcome. Because you're a Stage TWO, you still have hope.
- Don't fall in love with those things you call BODY ART. If you do love it, go for it...when you're 20+, not when you're still schooling. Don't Do tattoos on impulse. THINK about it before acting. Such as: "how am i gonna get this off when i don't want it?" I heard tattoo removal hurts. And think of what might happen if you have 10 piercings on one ear and it all gets infected. Ew. Or the tongue for that matter. Sayonara Freedom of Speech.
- DON'T give in to peer pressure to "Go for it" and take a fag (smoke). If you call going around looking sleepy-eyed with a horrible stink from your mouth constantly hanging on to a packet of toxins for dear life COOL, you've entered Stage Three. There's a time and place to be dumb.
- Don't do stupid things. Like cut yourself. Or purposely rebel. We all know 12-16 is the rebellious stage of every teen/tween's life but sometimes there's a REASON why parents ground you. I mean, why be all dumb and go against your parents when you can just listen to them, gain their trust and then earn your freedom.

Kudos to you if you managed to pass Rehab For StageTwo! :D *applause*

Stage Three. Chao Ah Lians!
The most god-forsaken bunch who seems determined to stagger down that evil looking road to ___(fill in the blanks)______.

Stage Three is the hardest to pull through with all the druggies, stealing, gangsterism(poser)

Repeat steps #1-#6 from Stage Two. You can't do #7 because you're already doing it.

So here's Step #8.
A veeery difficult thing to do. Most of you won't be able to do this.

Admit your problem and seek help from the professionals. "The first step to recovery is knowing and accepting your problem"

-If you want to get over your druggie/alcohol problem, call a help hotline. Or get into a hobby that distracts you from all these. Sports is a good way to curb that problem.
Same goes from HappyHourSlashing accompanied with emo-ing. Help Hotline people talk to you while you can stay annonymous.

-As for stealing, no doubt you most probably can't return stuff that you've already used but just keep your itchy fingers to yourself. Try this: When shopping, bring a notebook and pencil along. When you see something you really like but can't afford, note it down or save it via sms and work hard to get it. Stealing always seems cool....until you get caught. Don't risk it cause it's not worth it.

-And gangsterism. That's the worse. So many people have recounted that when they tried to leave a gang, they were brutally punished. And you know what? Most of them never regretted it. It's not a walk in the park to play with the law time and time again. But hey, you leave the world of crime, and i bet the burden will be lifted off your shoulders.
I bet you're scoffing at this. Thinking "What they ****! trying to be a Saint is it? !@$%!$#(%!$"
Heck no i'm not a Saint. I'm not even from SAJC or SAS.
But, i bet you've watched I not Stupid Too.
You saw what happened when the two main heros got into trouble and had to cough up cash. Their "brothers" vanished! POOF. Like magic!
What do you think will happen to you if you ever get into trouble? REAL trouble. Not the "Eh someone bang into me never say sorry come beat them up now" type of trouble. Trouble with the LAW.

Of course if you can't do all of the above yet still reaaaally really want out of the CAL business, here's a last resort.
Join the Buddhist Nuns (Not bad luh you'll shave off the curtains and be able to wear some other colour)
Or become a Catholic Nun, completely devoted to your religion. :D

Hoohaha. If you actually do that, go write a book about this and publish it. :p

Ps: The arguement on the tagboard is becoming really boring. The arguement line is the same so basically it's all crap. Boooo.

Have a Twit-Free Day! :D

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Poser Twit - ~!%#@~&~- KKATH

HOORAH. We are back! This time we're featuring a true blue poser twit! This poser was highlighted to us by a anti-ah-lian who wishes to stay annoymous.

We took a little trip to this twit's friendster and boy, did we suffer.
Let me introduce you to our poser twit for the day, ~!%#@~&~- KKATH' !!! (name has been modified)

Her friendster profile is really quite short. But a picture is worth a thousand words, and in her case, one picture is worth...well, nothing actually. Not to me anyway since i puked out my breakfast and lunch upon looking at her photos and captions.

*Takes a deep breath to prepare for what's coming next*
Let's start on the photos.

I must say that this girl is really horny. Her photos (which i saw, sadly) were brutally taken by force by us from her friendster profile quite some time ago (we were all bickering on who was to blog about her) and when i checked today, she seemed to have taken down a few photos already.

Too bad we already have it. *evil smile* and hoorah again! For my excellent memory has once again proved worthy by remembering quite a bit of the quotes! So prepare ye eyes lads and lassie! Hereeeee's, ~!%#@~&~- KKATH' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her first photo is probably her nicest photo. Because you can't see her face and she's not doing any of the TOP10 poses. Plus there's a dog! :D

Don't turn away now folks! This is how our little miss poser twit looks like. (I shall call her LMPT for short)

Ah hah! This photo was taken down by her recently. LMPT here put a caption that went something like: "He tell me to take off my shirt" o_O golly-gee! No way in hell please don't do that i do treasure my eyes you know.

Oh this caption was horrible (Thank goodness she took it off her friendster. Too bad we have it here :D) This caption was something like this "...he unbutton my shirt" Okay. Time-out. My eyes have starting bleeding.

This one below had no caption but LOOK folks! It's the magic nose stud! :D

This caption read: " urghhs. same pose aqain. haha " Well DUH of course it's the same pose. It's in Ah Lians Cam-whoring Poses 101. Notice how she uses "q" instead of a "g"

AND! The answer to all your questions! Here's PROOF that she's a poser. This fella in the picture is SUPPOSED to be her *ahem* beloved laogong, named "Joshua"

We checked out his friendster account (most probably made by our dear LMPT) and guess what?! He only had ONE friend. :D And that ONE friend is our dead LMPT! Come on people even losers on frienster have at least 5 friends!

Here's his link: <-- i changed the last digit. :D You can go find out on your own. See now i DIDN'T give out HIS link!

Anyway, here is his very very interesting friendster profile.

Male, 87, In a Relationship
Interested In: Friends
Member Since: Aug 2005
Joshua's URL:
(again, changed the last thingy)

Oh yes indeedy LMPT. Your husband is 87 and you are a secondary kid.

More About Joshua

Hobbies and Interests:
Favorite Books:
Favorite Movies:
Favorite Music:
Favorite TV Shows:
Zodiac Sign:
About Me:
Who I Want to Meet:




Oh. My. Goodness. How fake can this get? No real guy will EVER do this to his friendster profile. Seriously. It degrades all macho-ness of his male gender. Tsk.

AND! Most interestingly, his comments (what used to be testimonials.) Check it out.

TWO Comments by LMPT!!!! WOW.

Posted 21/02/2007 05:34













Posted 20/08/2005 02:24

hhaiiyoo....uuuuu........DA LAN ZHUU!!!!

owaess sleep....denn sumoree need mii morniin calll hhaiishh.....ii osoo need tuhh sleep dde nehx!!!!!

lols....kaes la.....saaee sumtiink guud bouut euu bbahhx....ggt to noee hiim throughh myy cousiin gorr....

hhe llovess`bbasketball][

kaeyy..therre goess eurr testiimoniiall lliaaox......


Wonderful romance isn't it? *gacks* Let's go back to LMPT's friendster page and dig though all of her 748 comments! :D

Here it is! On the 5th last page!

JoshuaPosted 21/08/2005 06:44

hiie....iim back to continue my testi.....

humphh.....diis tiime rounnd.....

wad should ii rite leh???


crap along bahx....


hmm...lemme c.....hw should ii continue my testi lehx.........

well....i think its the end my the episode2 of my testimonial le....

kaes...stay tuned to my 3rd episode of da testimonial lor....lols...

stay tuned...tobe continued....


JoshuaPosted 03/10/2005 05:24
h e y g i r l . . .

s o r i s o l o n g n v h a l p u 2
c o n t i n u e t h e e p i s o d e s. . .
p a i s e h h o r x. . .

h a h a . . . r m b y t d. . . a t
s t a g m o n t . . . u a n d y o u r s i s...
d i s i a o m i i h o r x . . .
g o o d l o r z u. . .

s a e i w e a r j e r s e y g o
s t a g m o n t. . .v e r i d i u l i a n h o r?

g o s t a g m o n t p l a y
b a s k e t b a l l n i d t o w e a r
t u x e d o m e h x?l o l s

k a e s l a r . . . s o h o w u r s i s
t i n k o f t h e s a m??

t e l l h e r h e s t i l l o n s h e l f . . .

n o b o d y r e s e r v e d h i m. . .

h a h a . . .

b u t h o n e s t l y u r s i s a n d m y b r o g o t f u q i l i a n l e h x. . .

p s s . . . d o n t e l l h e r . . .

i d o n w a n k e n a h e r s u a n s
a g a i n. . .

o k l i a o t y m s u p . . .

3 r d e p i s o d e e n d. . .
s t a y t u n e d f o r n e x t.

JoshuaPosted 26/01/2006 00:24
][ k a t h ][

i veri long no rite testii 4 yoo le hor??

kae...give u tish...hapi..

ur bdae den give u mur....

don tok le...mi bz...

][ l a o g o n g ][


I shall not continue further than this. I'll leave it up to you to decide if LMPT is a poser, desperate enough for a boyfriend to do this, attention-seeking, attention-deprived or, AN INNOCENT WIDDLE GIRL. :D

Till then readers! Cheers!


Sunday, July 29, 2007

National Twit Day

Woah! It's another post just after i did one! Well okay it's not really a post.

I'm sure you all would have noticed the tagboard by now. It's red-and-white! GUESS WHY.

*ah lians pause to think why*

Oh come on it's so DUH you don't have to think. That's right. National Day is coming up! And for the first time ever (as you all can probably guess what i'm about to say) the Little Red Dot is holding her annual parade on a floating platform at Marina Bay while they tear down a historical site in Kallang to erect a more modern stadium to blend in with the durian. ^^v

Any-hoo. We probably won't post on National Day, however, MOT, aka Museum Of Twits has done a previous post on NDP. So you should go check it out. Here's the link:

Have fun reading, close the door so the folks won't deem you mental for laughing so much and don't forget to try and read the other posts. :D

Till then,
<3 <3 <3 <3 aal#2

Friday, July 27, 2007

Ah Lian Defender

Hoorah! AALteam is back in action!

It seems that we were sorely missed! And i spy an AhLian Defender on the tagboard. Instead of letting the other readers flood the tagboard with the usual reasons of ahlian-i-sm, i shall type it out here :)

24 Jul 07, 12:28psserby: hell man . who is the ones who wrote the blog ?
(That would be aal#1, aal#2 and aal#3 you moron. It's clearly stated under "Our Mission")

24 Jul 07, 13:13psserby: and i sother peoples blog why do you all care so much ?
(Because i have no clue to what "sother" is so i won't answer you, dimwit.)

24 Jul 07, 13:15psserby: & do you all have he rights to care about what other people write ? stop insulting people like that & dunt say that i am helping ah lians . i just find that is other people blog .
(Again you make no sense you Ah Lian. Oh yes we can tell you ARE a Lian plainly because you leave spaces before your punctunation, which normal people DON'T do. :))

24 Jul 07, 13:18psserby: & why do you all grab other people pictures & put in this BLOG ? whats the problem with other people blog ? STOP SAYING OTHER PEOPLE !YOU ALL JUST DUNT HAVE THE RIGTHS TO INSULT PEOPLE .
(The only problem with ah Lians' blogs would be that they give people sore eyes. AH HAH! But we DO censor the pictures! That is, if you ask us nicely. And well, if we don't have the right to insult ah lians, you have no right to insult our creation aka

(What horrible english. Oh, may in inquire "WHO EVERY PIERCED MORE THEN IS AH LIAN" more than WHAT? One? Two? Three? Ten Thousand? Well DUH it's none of our problem. We just find it disturbing. I mean, what if by some ill fate an Ah Lian with 10 piercings on her ear has infection all at the same time? My gosh it'll be like looking at a rotting ear.)

24 Jul 07, 13:20psserby: is their body what ! is not your body . why should you all care so much about it ?
(Oh. I guess i just answered that up there.)

(If you're not defending the Ah Lians i don't see why you should get so worked up. Unless you yourself is a GANLAOPO or have one and may be feeling revolted at the idea of a female having a laopo.)

24 Jul 07, 13:22psserby: & WHAT AFFAIRS ?
(Right back at you. WHAT AFFAIRS? Can't you plainly see it? Ah Lian has a boyfriend, a laogong and a laopo! If this isn't an affair please tell me what is :))

(Pardon me while i laugh at you. *HAHAHA* Okay, person who "LIEK" "MASSY" hair. Gee if they didn't LIKE being untidy don't you think their fringes would have been pinned up? Well of course it's not our problem. We just highlighted the fact that over-rebonding your hair firstly spoils your hair and secondly, if you already have straight hair, why rebond it for the sake of rebonding? A rather waste of money if you ask me. It's FINANCIAL PLANNING. If they have money to burn, well go ahead and rebond until you have to get a wig :D)

(Why would i be jealous of their laogong? I shudder at the thought of even being related to them. AND by right, if a woman has a laogong, it is only logical that she doesn't have an exterior boyfriend, boy toy, dear dear, ah boy, laopo or whatsoever. That would be deemed as an AFFAIR. :D)

24 Jul 07, 13:25psserby: they wake up have princess shower ? cannot mehs >? not like other people bath for 5 misn come out izzit ?
(Of course they can have their princess shower! However NORMAL people who go to school in the morning would take about 5-10mins don't you agree? Unless! You're an ah lians too! :D)

24 Jul 07, 13:26psserby: they wants to be tidy only . cannot stand infront of the mirror for 5 misn mehs ?
(Oh look you're so agitated you're having more and more typos. Or not. Hah. SO who the hell stand in front of the mirror for 5mins just to comb their FRINGE?)

24 Jul 07, 13:28psserby: they take out their phones asap is beacause they wants to meet people out cannot mehs ? they are boring they have fun lifes ! not like you all liek is just study study study .
(You made me laugh at your stupidity!!! :D "They are boring they have fun lifes!" i would LOVE to hear your statement on this. Well let me ask you. Who the hell would practically glue their eyes onto the phone and wait 24/7 for messages and calls just to CHAT? Look at their friendster. I think they've met enough "FRIENDS" for a hundred lifetimes. And people study to get ahead in life. The only place i know that hires people just for the FACE and BODY would be.....well you should know what 'profession' it is don't you?)

(Of course! But not to the point where your only focus is on the phone. Which idiot stares at the handphone screen while crossing the road? Unless you're begging for an accident then i have nothing to say.)

(Ahhh. The insults appear! If you tell me that their names are really 'xiiaoblackiie' or 'cuteiix-piiexz' or some other retarded name i will deem you an idiot and laugh at you eternally. Keeping our identity from people like you are for safety reasons DUH. It's the same as travelling around in a gang. For SAFETY. Okay in ah lians' case a gang is to intimidate and threaten people.)

24 Jul 07, 13:31psserby: people wear more fashionable cannot mehs ? if not wear like what t-shirt plus what lao aunty wear the clothes ar
(My God have some respect for the elders will you? How can you insult the aunties who work and contribute to the economy while ah lians are just a waste of space. After all, they have FUN LIFES don't they? They aren't like us, who STUDY STUDY STUDY to get a proper job. :D)

(Sexy legs? Oh my god i think i'm going to puke. The only reason i can think of for wearing super short skirts is to attract attention. Either that or they're training to aim for a certain 'profession'. Oh well. But that's just me and my thinking isn't it?)

24 Jul 07, 13:34psserby: they love pink also your problem mehs ?
(Whatever did the poor colour PINK do to the ah lians to be treated so over-ratedly and made an ah-lian prime colour? tsk.)

24 Jul 07, 13:34psserby: dunt tell me small children like pink they are also ah lians izzit ?
(Unlike ah lians, kids are CUTE.)

24 Jul 07, 13:35psserby: & stop insulting ah lian la horhs . they are much more better then you all .
(Are you SURE? Are you SURE? How are we insulting them? :D)

24 Jul 07, 13:37psserby: they have matching bags & handphone is because they are very close sisters . they are loyal .
(Oh please even TWINS don't have everything in the exact same colour and texture! So tell me. When one gets caught by the police, who will stay behind to defend the other huh? Don't tell me you will be so LOYAL as to stay behind and get caught and punished. Oh you'll say that now, but when it actually happens, i won't be surprised to see you high-tail out of the scene and leave you SISTER behind when the police comes.)

24 Jul 07, 13:38psserby: & dunt think that what your english very good huhs ? & who says that ah lian dunt study ?? they do study okays ! just that you duntknow all rights!
(Well i know my English is better than yours. I don't spell MESSY as MASSY and i don't mispell LIKE and LIEK. Ah-HAH! You contradicted yourself again! A previous tag by you told me that " they are boring they have fun lifes ! not like you all liek is just study study study .")

24 Jul 07, 13:38psserby: they are chio and you are ugly
(Gawd how immature can you get. Is this already your last feeble point to stand up for ah lians?)

24 Jul 07, 13:40psserby: & they liek techno cannot mehs ? whats the problem with you all la horhs ! NONE OF ALL YOUR PROBLEMS .
(You seriously need to learn how to spell LIKE. I can't wait for the day you sms you boyfriend saying "I LIEK YOU." And again, senseless comment. What's the problem with us? None of all our problems? Meaning that we have no problems? Then it's a redundant statement you twit.)

24 Jul 07, 13:41psserby: they dunt have fat asses &with pug faces . they have pretty faces . not liek you all .
(If they have pretty faces they wouldn't hide behind their freaky long fringes would they? Or paint their face with make-up.)

24 Jul 07, 13:43psserby: they wants to let go their hair and cover their faces is just because that they like it . IS NIOT because they have pimples .
( Are you SURE?? :D NOIT indeed. Hahahaha! My goodness you're making my day with your horrendous spelling.)

24 Jul 07, 13:45psserby: stop this blog . stop writing abotu ah lians . write about your own . look infront of the mirror of yourself see if you all prettier then ah lian anot .
(Write about my own what? Ah lians? HAHA!!! Well i do regard myself prettier because i can actually SEE my face. I've no blockages in front of my eyes.)

24 Jul 07, 13:45psserby: you all are just lao aunty and lau uncle .
(Whatever did the aunties and uncles do to you? In my perspective your parents are aunties and uncles too you know. Please don't insult people's parents. It's not nice and not very fillial-like.)

24 Jul 07, 13:45psserby: i dunt care what school you from .
(I bet you do. You're just itching to attack us. I can tell. :D)

24 Jul 07, 13:46psserby: you all are just jealous of people .
(Are we now?)

24 Jul 07, 13:46 psserby: because you all are just ugly and fat . and can study but super nerd !
(Are you indicating yourself as pretty and thin? You discrace top models everywhere then. A-HAH! Again, you said ah lians study. Are you now deeming them as nerds too?)

24 Jul 07, 13:46psserby: PLUS humpji .
(Run out of things to say haven't you. I'm not surprised.)

24 Jul 07, 13:46psserby: anyway . i will be back here to see what you all wants to write about me .
(I think you'll be pleased and pissed. :D)

24 Jul 07, 13:47psserby: write all you all want .
(And i did.)

psserby: but i will be back here to see what you all got to say .
(So see! Iive said my share.)

(When did it become INSULTS? I don't hurl vulgarities at them do i?)

24 Jul 07, 13:47psserby: & BYE


Now that that's done and over with, i bet you readers are just itching for photos! And yes we do keep our word to censor the photos even though with their fringes you can't identify them. Anyway, this post features LAOGONGS AND LAOPOS! Wheee. Till then! -aal#2

And guess what? They're doing an ad for Super Glue.

MUAH. ^^
Super Glue. 100% Garunteed to seal his and her lips together while you take a photo! Prevents slippage. :)

It's really effective! Works from all angles.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

You call me idiot! I can haz a sadded.

A little something for those who tagged.

In Singapore, there's something known as freedom of speech. In other words, we are allowed to voice out our thoughts and opinions through mediums like a blog. If you don't like what we write, don't read it.

One of you asked how we would feel if people called us idiot #1, idiot #2, idiot #3. My answer is go ahead, after all its your opinion, doesn't mean its a fact, and I'm sure aal 1 and aal 2 agrees with this. Besides, theres this saying ... it takes one to know another ... so if we are idiots, than those who call us idiots would be ... ?

aal #3

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Its the holidays.

One of the times of the year when twits everywhere come out to play.

They loiter at void decks, and shopping malls causing trouble and disturbance to people around them.

The point of this post?

When you go out, watch out and don't run foul of these air-heads.

Happy Holidays. Don't let the twit-bug bite.


Tuesday, May 29, 2007

To the idiot who claims we are "tiim0thhy kk0hh". Whoever the guy is, we are 100% not him. Please do NOT link us with one of your himbo pals. Thank You very much.

Anyway ... back to business.

One of our aal members happen to be a good friend of the CHIJ twits. How the poor sould has managed to retain his/her poor soul, i have no idea. Anyway .... we thus have first hand knowledge of the twit breed.

First up, their language.

The way they mix Japanese with their super irritating curses and half-baked dialect is an insult to the Japanese language. Anyway, have anyone noticed, despite all their threats to get someone to whack you up, the real beating never really comes. You know why ? Pure and simple, twits are gutless. No matter what they say, they are quaking like mad on the inside. Which is why even after receiving so many threats, not one hair on my head has been touched by a twit and her gang.

Secondly, the twits lack of ability to think.

Sometimes, the things that come out of their mouths simply amuses me. "My kor don't want me le. How ?? I feel so sad and depressed, feel like ending my life." The next min ...
"That guy just now looking at me hor !!! ahhh !!! He's so KAWAII !!!" Is that totally brainless or what !?!? This so obviously displays their lack of brains. Which is why meaningless things affect them sooo much. Becasue there is nothing else in their empty head to occupy their thoughts.

Last, and the most disgusting one of all in my opinion.

The way they use their "chio" body to pose in every circumstance is totally detestable. When they are trying to appease someone, they start tilting their heads up, fluttering their eyelashes .... When they are angry with someone, their fringe comes down to hide one eye, while the other eye glares angry at the person in question. Their lips go into a pout ... When they are trying to impress a guy, the fringe comes down also, and once in awhile, they make eye contact with the guy, while letting out a girlish giggle. When they stand, they push their bust out, making it look bigger than before.
All this would be fine, if it weren't for the fact that half of them are actually fat asses with pug faces ... imagine a pig batting its eyelashes at you ... one would probably puke more than half of whatever one has consummed before meeting the pig.


Sunday, April 08, 2007

Spamming Glory eh?

Oh yay. Another IDIOT.
I've heard of a person with two faces.
But this person takes the cake.
Talk about split personalities.
May i turn your attention to our tagboard.

Felicia Chin, tingting, qitong, applellboiishh and appelish --> the same person.

At least that's what derived from this:

THE SAME IP ADDRESS. Goodness! If this isn't stupidity i don't know what is. That girl/guy is practically talking to himself/herself on the tagboard! Not only talking but contradiciting and scolding herself/himself!

Talk about twits. Hah!


Thursday, April 05, 2007

Five Facts

Yay! A new post! :D

Today, we bring to you a special post.
No slander.
No primping of twits,
No photos.
BUT FACTS. :)))))))))))))))

What type of facts you wonder.
The very best kind of course!
Cold. Hard. True. FACTS.
Annoying Facts.

Fact #1: Twits like attention.
-Music blasting in public places and public transport with LOUD giggling accompaniment.
-Reeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaally short skirts to attract chi-ko-pehs :)

Fact#2: Twits like pink. A LOT.
-See for yourself.

Fact#3: They love symmetry.
-Twits often have 'twins'
-matching bags
-matching phone accesories
-matching hairstyles
-boyfriends with matching clothing styles :D (then again Bengs have the same style of 'fashion' too)

Fact#4: Twits love STRAIGHT.
-Lookie! Straight hair! Freakishly straight hair in fact!
-You don't see lesbian twits do you? No, if you see a picture of a twit kissing a girl, it's probably her reflection. Now that's just being a narcissist. (or pretending to have a TWIN :D)

Fact#5: Twits have bad spelling.
-need i say more? Or rather: ne3d ii shaAeeX m0rEez?

Yes this is a really short post. We're kind of preoccupied with our lives too so please be patient and continue being an ANTI-AH-LIAN :D


Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Jokes! for all

Hello! We do apologize for making you all wait for the post AAL#1 is SUPPOSED to do. So here are some random jokes about...TWITS.

Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently and drove to Ah Lian's place to show
it to her.

So there Ah Beng was bragging the various functions of his new car to
his girlfriend.

"This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!"
"Ha! Really ah!!! Steady lah!" said Ah Lian.
"Some more hor, this is Automatic one, vely easy to drive!"
So Ah Lian said, "Let me try! I wan, I wan!"
So Ah Lian took the driver's seat and shifted the gear and floored the

The next moment, the car sped backwards and crashed into the lamp-post.
"Alamak! What u doing? U Siao Char Bo! U see lah! Wah Piang eh!"
screamed Ah Beng.
"Solee, solee, pai sah lah! No lah, I tot hor, "R" for racing mah!"

Once upon a time, a group of Ah Bengs stepped into a lounge and wanted
the DJ to play the song "Ah Cheng Buey Ro Ti"
(In Hokkien means Ah Cheng buys bread).

The DJ told them that they only have English songs and told them to
re-select another song.
The Ah Bengs were very angry and kicked up a big fuss claiming the DJ
was insulting them.
The manager had to intervene in order to calm them down.
Finally after a long talk with Ah Bengs, the manager found out that they
were actually asking for the song "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous


One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey and wanted to
get down to the ground floor.
As they looked at the dial, they could see the number 20 down to number

It was then followed by a G.
As they were not English-educated, they were puzzled and had no idea
what does the letter G mean.
Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit G.
When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so
impressed and asked the first Ah Lian,"Wah low!!!
How you know one?"
The first Ah Lian replied smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero mah..."


Tuesday, January 16, 2007

If Twits Ruled the World

First thing i did when i went to see this website was read the tagboard. All i can say is,
What the hell happened!?
Apparently there is some dispute going on between ah lians and our ever-loyal readers. What can i say but, ah lians are so immature, thinking the world of themselves because they know how to curse and swear in English, Chinese and Hokkien. If you think you're great, then. *Ahem* WELL DONE AH LIANS! YOU KNOW HOW TO SCOLD IN SOOOOO MANY LANGUAGES! WELL DONE! BRAVO! YOU ARE SO SO SOOOOO SMART! :D
Let's praise them for their ingenius swearing skills! *Cheers*
The following part of the post will be in ENGLISH for easy understanding and simply because it burns my eyes, kills my brain cells and wastes my time to type in Twit.
As i scrolled down the tagboard, one comment gave me an idea to blog.
14 Jan 07, 12:51
teehee!: lians are so dumb. If Singapore becomes a twit country, it'll plunged back into the Third World and i'll make sure to migrate.
Seriously. What if AH LIANS take over the country?! *shudder.*
It might actually get interesting!
Imagine the rules.
  1. Schools will be a place for meeting up with friends and chatting! Learning is a STRICT NO-NO! :))))
  2. Singapore will be called SiinGap0rrExXx! Twit will be the national language!
  3. Everyone has to type in TWIT! Remember to double your "ii"s and add kawaii little xXx's after your words! :))))
  4. Everyone has to wear PINK from Thursday-Sunday! However if you want to wear pink from Monday-Sunday, we won't mind. :)))))
  5. No NERDS allowed!
  6. Smoking will be allowed everywhere! You can smoke and inhale 2nd-hand smoke ALL DAY LONG! :)))
  7. Drugs can be bought and sold FREELY! It's not the Twit Government's problem if anyone dies of overdose or steps on a needle.
  8. Fighting will be allowed! FREE MEDICAL FEES IF THERE'S A VALID REASON.
  9. There will only be broadcasts of cartoons like the PowerPuff Girls and Korean/Hong Kong Dramas and JAY CHOU! LOTS AND LOTS OF JAY CHOU!
  10. MTV will be banned and replaced with NT! (NON-STOP TECHNO!)
  11. Stealing will be considered as an Art.
  12. No-one will give a heck if you have pre-marital sex or if you get married at the age of 12.
  13. All clubs and casinos will be open 24/7!
  14. Bugis Street will have Discount Tuesdays! :)))))
  15. Nerds or HUMJI-KIAs will go to JAIL!

I swear i will pack up and migrate if this ever happens. Think about it. Singapore will plunge into the 4th World if this happens!

No Nerds = No technology, no computer for their blogging, no maintanence for LIFTS, no new discoveries like the ipod, no repairs, etc.

No school = No education, no job, no service, no workers.

TG and Nonstop chinese dramas = Everyone will turn into zombines banging their heads to the techno beat and blabbering chinese quotes in that kawaii voice of theirs.

Bugis Strees Discount Tuesdays = No money no income everyone will die.

Drugs, Smoking, Booze = Drunkards, more accidents, more fighting, more killing, diminishing population.

Basically if twits ran the country, they'll be getting rid of themselves. HEY! That might not be so bad after all. :))))))