Admin Post

Alright my fellow AhLian haters! Some Admin to clear up and start 2010 (even though we are 24 days late)

We regret to inform you that AALteam will not be updating as frequently as before, as we ARE busy people with lives as some twits claim that we have no life. Boo-hoo-hoo :'(

We are, however, glad to inform you that we DO accept Guest Posts. So please send in your posts to:

aalteamSG@gmail.com

Our team will take the time to read through it and see if it is AALteam material!

Do take note that we do not check our e-mail frequently, so our replies may be a tad slow.

AALteam would also like to thank our fans who have supported us since 2006 onwards. Outstanding people like De Maitre, who has always been commenting against twitheads, thank you for your support. We at AALteam really appreciate it :)

On non-related Admin issues..

Tao Eh is closing his blog :( so ah lians, i'm sorry. It seems like you won't be able to look for a AhBeng boyfriend in their Find Stead Department.

Tao Eh!

I'm in love. :D

http://www.borntobeyourtaoeh.blogspot.com/

I never laughed so hard this year. (Y)

Ah lians, please sign up with their Find Stead Department.

Eiius!

Well I honestly did not intend to post for several more weeks, however...

Clarence Teo said...

Eiius all stop making fun of ahlians okiies? My gf is a ahlian and shoo whats? FUCK UP STUPID AALTEAM.

CALL ME IF YOU NO HAPPY LA!
90615623

3:57 PM

*Doubles over laughing*

Oh my goodness! Eiius want to pick a fight? Eiius want to beat us up? Is Eiius girlfriend like the one we mentioned above?

EiiusEiiusEiiusEiiusEiiusEiius worrrrx. It's almost as entertaining as the "boomz"

I'm back from prison :D

Cheerios! AAL#2 is back from prison. Har-dee-harhar :D


Personally, I do find this year's twits a tad more retarded than the previous generation of twits.

They are, in fact, lacking a certain gray matter up there *taps head*


For example:

Waiting at a traffic light on the streets of Orchard during a weekend, I saw and overheard a conversation of twittery.


*Guy walks up to AhLian#1 and #2*
Guy to AhLian#1: Erm.. You're very pretty. Can I have your handphone number?
(In the background, a whole group of his friends are laughing. You can guess immediately that it is a dare)
AhLian#1: For what?
Guy: Uh.. get to know you better?
AhLian#2: *arrogant voice* She lost her phone.
AhLian#1: Ya.

AhLian#1&#2 swagger off in their white hot shorts. AhLian#1's bright red phone with her gazillion handphone keychains are sticking out of her butt pocket.



How smart :D

Ah Lians and DSLRs

Newsflash from AALteam:

We regret to inform you, but AALteam is closing down. Instead, we will be setting up a blog that is all about professional photography.

OH HAY THAR!!

Naw, we're just kidding about the top part. AALteam's back with a short update! \m/

On the topic of DSLRs, has anyone noticed that ahlians are starting to purchase DSLRs for the sake of..*GASP*

CAMWHORING????

Bloodyfag! This.. THIS IS A CATASROPHE! This is a pandemic! This is utter CHAOS! This… THIS IS MADNESS!

The ahlians have gone HIGH-CLASS!

Everyone knows that DSLRs have fantastic awesome superly-super fast shutter speeds. Maybe ah lians have SUDDENLY realized that!!!

Camwhore efficiency +75%

Lost are the days where ahlians buy cheapo imitations. These days, ahlians want the REAL DEAL! How they get the money, we have ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE :D You can make your guesses though.

So AAL1 and I were enjoying the moshpit of the IT Fair on Saturday, and OHMIGAWRRRDZZZZZZ We saw an AHLIAN and her friendzzz with a Nikon d40! Must be recently purchased one.

OH HAY. THEY CAN HAS CAMWHOREZ WITH PRO SLR WORRRXXX!!!

Aiiy00x , shUtt3r sp33dd sh00 ffAstt w0rrX!

DSLR l00kk sh00 pR0 aaNd chii0x w0rrX!

m3Gaapiixx sh000 hiiGhh w0rrX!!!

The best part?

THEY STILL TAKE FULGY BLURRISH PHOTOS.

At which AAL1 and I burst out laughing when we walked behind them and saw their blurrish photo captured with the d40. Nice one ah lians!

A bit rusty after not blogging for so long. Hey, I tried to google ahlian! AND GUESS WHAT?

It works!

Xiia0 BiitCh worhx.

Oh my. Oh my oh my oh my :D I just ADORE comments! They always never fail to crack me up HaHaHaHaHa!

For awhile, I noticed that the comments on our posts have mainly been from AAL supporters, those who are so called "neutral" and ah lians trying to type in good English. Yes I am actually quite shocked, and I was wondering if the ah lians who have been reading this blog, are either not commenting to spare themselves the agony and shame, or trying to type in good English to prove themselves wrong to us.


BOY WAS I PROVEN WRONG HA HA HA! Ah Lians are just so entertaining :D

And they have not failed us! The previous comments on the Admin post left me grinning from ear to ear because AH LIANS HAVE STRUCK AGAIN!! WOW!

So yes, they have ruled out my theory of ah lians trying to type in good English here to prove to us that they're not as dumb as they seem to be.

And so, I have quoted the precious moments here for easier reference :D

Anonymous said...
ehs , wad is sho bad about ah
lian siah? if uiie quai kiah then every ah lian sure come find uiie lorrhs sho
darinq post it here diao -.- whr uiie stay arrhs? fakinq lil bitch luhhs hor
11:50 PM

Xia0BITCH said...
AAAAAA , siao eh .Post more
your head lahs . NB !You shoo bo liao ish it ?Come here pei they type all those
rubbish ! Fcuking hell .CB lahs , don't saee my SWEETIE lahs horhs ,never die
before .
11:56 PM

Anonymous said...
doqq luhhs hor put my laopo
url kam lan? nahbeh .
12:07 AM

xiaoshy said...
i dont know why ue guys open
AAL i mean its so lame . are ue jealous because ue cant qert in cause they say
ue nort pretty enough , sorry for makinq me sayinq this so straiqht just stop
being such losers okays :]
4:11 AM



♥ 小PURPLE said...
wads sho bad about ah lian
siah? at least all r prettier than uiie who hate ah lian lorrhs lame siah , hate
ah lian jiu hate luhhs niid open AAL mehhs? diao -.-
6:55 PM


Xia0BITCH said...
Heyys , xiaoshy ,i super agree
with you uhs ;D
10:22 PM

Xia0BITCH said...
Heyys , please lahs .You
mother give birth toyou let you stare at ppl si bo ?!Stare wht stare , like
never stare before . I know why you all stare liaos lahs .Cause ahlians are more
fashion type mahs , dhen you all see liaos think very funny why they wear wear
like that right ? CB lahs .LOLS , i'm shoo lame -.-'Okays stop playing . Ahlian
are more fashion lahs ,this ish th truth . No likeyou all "guai bao bao" , wear
till like lao auntie lao uncle like that . ohmytians .Aliens !!! -.-'
10:28
PM

I swear. One of the commentors, Xia0BITCH made me laugh till I nearly fell off my chair! First of all, her nickname alone makes me wonder, if she calls and degrades herself by naming herself as a bitch, when other people call her that, would she not call her million and one 'gan kors' and 'gan di's' to come and bash that person up??? :O After all, she did mention the very infamous phrase of "stare what stare!" and we all know what comes after THAT phrase *rolls eyes* :D


I doubt many of us here are jealous of you ah lians anyway.

1. Why would we be jealous of a group of people who speak bad English and type in an alien language that isn't going to get them anywhere but into jail?
2. Why would and SHOULD we be jealous of looking EXACTLY like another ten thousand other ah lians? (same hair same taste in clothes same stupid retarded nicknames like XiaoBITCH, xiaoSILLY and xiaoSTUPID and any other xiiao xiiao xiao) WHERE IS THE ORIGINALITY???
3. Why would we want to be jealous of a group who goes around bashing people up for staring at them? Come on. If you HONESTLY think that people are staring at you out of JEALOUSY that you're so-called 'prettier', THEN SHOULD YOU NOT BE FLATTERED RATHER THAN ANGERED? Hellooo? Common sense.
   --- "OMG she stare at me. KNNCCB%#$\!!%ERDF STARE WHAT STARE YOU JEALOUS IS IT? I XIAOBITCH LEH! PRETTY AND FASHIONABLE XIAOBITCH!"

Besides amusing comments, another thing that got me thinking in a very self-amused way after reading the comments.

------------

Some of you may have received the prank sms about the hoax bombing at Bugis.

So I was thinking... maybe the idiot who started this hoax just wanted to scare all the ah lians and ah bengs away from bugis so he could go shopping without having the noise pollution of wonderful colourful Hokkien vulgarities for once.

Let's try re-writing it for fun :D

you can send in your own versions to our gmail or leave it as a comment, but please DO NOT MASS SEND IT OUT, because whoever sends out hoax smses about such a serious issue has to be a complete and utter retard for thinking that they can misuse such a serious threat against the securities and authorities.

Actual news report: http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20090221/tap-609-19-year-old-arrested-sms-hoax-po-231650b.html

Original text:

Kindly spread e news 2 yr friends. If possible, dun go Bugis these few days. Terrorists may plant bomb ard that area. This msg was forwarded from my friend's army friend who are alrdy on 24hrs standby. Not sure how true but i was told dat dere quite a number of policemen patrolling ard. just be safe than sorry! hv a nice weekend ahead though!

Re-written text:

Kindly spread the news to your friends. If possible, don't go to Bugis these few days, or better still, never set foot there again. There has been a serious viral infection known as "Ahlianitis" that is said to kill people with high level of annoyance and stupidity. This msg was forwarded from my friend's friend working in the hospital and is on 24hrs standby. Not sure how true but i was told that the area has been quarantined. Better to be safe than sorry! Have a nice weekend ahead though!

Lengthy yes, but my brain is laughing and I can't think straight and neither can I think of a better one. So send in your versions or post them as comments if you think you have a better version!

Take note this is for purely amusement purposes. You should not ever mass send hoax smses that threaten our country's safety because it is the most stupid thing you can do.

xoxo, hugs and bimbotic kisses,
AAL#2

Admin post.

Goodness gracious me.

I have just checked our gmail account and realized none of us have checked in since April last year.


Tee-hee :D


Anyway, an update:

our hotmail account is no longer in use. None of us can remember the password and we can't be bothered to activate it. So the email we are using from now on will only be the gmail account:
aalteamSG@gmail.com

AND in relation to our last last post, THE CONTEST, we are proud to present that WE HAVE RECEIVED NO SUBMISSIONS SO FAR!!
maybe there might have been some in the hotmail account but heck who the hell cares we can't access it heeeheeeheee.



Well that's about it for today's post, short and sweet, not really an update about ah lians, just admin matters.

Send us your love! ;)

aal#1

Happy Chinese New Year LARRHX

Really. That joke is over-rated already.

YAYIIEEX! IISH CHIINESE NEW YYEAR WORX!

mmust qqet manniiee manniiee anqqba0s worrx!

our spokesperson for this CNY! Some random twit from friendster! WOW!

(actually we just typed "xiiao" in the search box and clicked on a random number and then a random profile)

"My real name cloudie"

Oh hello cloudie how are your New Year celebrations coming along?

"i feel today will find my boyfriend"

You mean the "today" newspaper or you will find your boyfriend today?


"i in thinking"



Okay we'll let your brain slowly process it.
Don't understand [IIIIIIIIIIIhanghanghanghang ] Understand
Loading 24%




"i in boring"


You haven't answered our question?!?!



"i in happy"



You know what? I don't care. Another twit, another CNY. Go spend your money on 'show-off-your-butt-hotshots and skinnies and whatever shit in Bugis

"i feel alone"

so sad! :(

aal#3

Long Time No Blog!

Indeed like the title says, long time no blog!
Yeah yeah here's a super late Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year wish from AALteam *cheers wildly and waves flags*



Don't get your hopes too high because this is just a ranting post hohoho =D



Frankly speaking Ah Lians and their counter-parts are starting to bore me. They're like clones. Once you've seen one, you've seen them all. I won't go through the whole "they-all-look-the-same-wearing-either-skinnes-or-hotshorts-that-are-so-short-you-can-see-half-their-butt" thing because I think the whole Singapore from Boon Lay to Changi has seen them. (Well OBVIOUSLY! They're EVERYWHERE! Multiplying like maggots!) <-- i'm going to get flamed for this TEE-HEE.


I've been busy, the whole team has been busy with our own lives and avoiding Ah Lians like the plague. But that doesn't mean that we're shutting down or whatever shit. We're just bored of them. We MAY try some social experiments on reactions of Ah Lians if we ever get too bored though. (You can even try some of your own and e-mail us! That is, IF we check our mail. I think the email account has inactive for months hahahaha. Not that I care. None of us really bothers to check mail :D)



On a separate issues, I wonder how long flame- no wait, I'll give them a more professional name: CRITICS will continue to repeat arguements over and over again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and (you get the idea) I mean, DON'T YOU EVER GET BORED??? I know I got bored reading through the comments. Hell, I fell asleep reading a comment! (either that or I have short attention spans)

First, the kind who starts off saying "Oh I hate Ah Lians, I don't support them..." and then suddenly pipe up with the "BUT I DISAPPROVE OF YOU PEOPLE WHEN YOU POST THEIR PHOTOS ON THE INTERNET BLAHBLAHBLAH" are you BLIND? Or do you need to check your eyes??? GO SEARCH THIS ENTIRE BLOG. Are there any pictures or photos in which have the FACES of an Ah Lian whom you can recognize??

Maybe you can actually see their faces behind our wonderful censorship! Maybe you're "PixelMan!" In which your powers is the ability to see behind layers of pixels :D Wow that's a useful talent. We should recruit you to help us see if Ah Lians photoshop their photos to make themselves look slimmer/take away their pimples/enlargeeee their eyes.


Would you like a contest? Here's a contest!
NAME ALL THE AH LIANS FEATURED ON THIS BLOG!

If you can single-handedly name all the Ah Lians who's photos have been on this blog (yes, even the censored ones) then you win!

Here are the rules:

• You have to send in the photo of the Ah Lian, taken from our blog, http://AALteam.blogspot.com, include her name, age, school, whatever particulars you know about her.
• YOU HAVE TO NAME EVERY AH LIAN :D
• You can't get help. Do it yourself.
• Leave a comment on this post to state if you have completed this contest, and wait for our reply because we have to go activate our stale e-mail account (Hurray) and then e-mail your entry to us.
• If you win... GUESS WHAT I DON'T CARE IF YOU WIN :D I'm not the least interested in who the hell those Ah Lians are because the names they give themselves aren't even REAL. "xiia0 zhuzhu", "xiia0stupiiiddddxxx", "xiia0 justgoanddiealready"

So if you win, whoop-dee-do! I'll post your name here REAAAAAAAAAAAALLY big and say TADAHHHHH! WINNER! Ah Lians! YOU HAVE BEEN RECOGNIZED :D


So STAY TUNED for the results!




And if there aren't any, go find all the other Anti-Ah Lian and Ah Beng websites to surf. I'm sure there are a few left in the last post's comments. Something aalteam2 (Oi name not original! But what the heck.) and I know there used to be a TIARAteam somewhere but their blog's gone.


Send in your entries NOW!

with much LOVE to all our supporters and even the faggots/scumbags/twits,

aal#1

Comments?

This was something I read, which I found to be rather amusing. (You can find it at the comments on the last post)

My thoughts will be in italic red :D

Shaery said...
actually, you can't blame for any girls to be ah lian lah. They are form of an singaporean art.
ART? Ah Lians, a form of Art? You know, the last I heard, a messy bed was a form of art.


Although you hate them, you should try to be them, put you in their shoes.
Fuck NO! I wouldn't like to smoke my way to death. Or glue sniff and throw myself off a building.

Not they don't want to study. Its the fact that not everyone can be pratically study, some are on hands on. Thus, leading them to stop attending school , as they get this form of reaction " sian lah ". As they feel they do not gain anything from studying ( pratically ).
No, it's because they DON'T WANT to study. I have heard of Ah Lians who can excel in their studies. They CHOOSE not to study because they rather go romp around somewhere doing things they think is cool. I myself am a hands on learner. I don't like to study. Hell, I didn't turn out like them! :D

Or some other girls, they have family problems such as e.g father mistress leading to divorce, gambling, drug taking all the leadings to broken family, the normal people living in proper lifes and family do not understand how they felt.
What about those people who have family problems and are still sane? Are you trying to imply that everyone with family matters will turn Ah Lian or Ah Beng? Don't compare when you can't.


And yes, they don't accept them in their "normal,happy family" society. And this actually leads to the girls being an ah lian. Getting into bad companys.
Your English is utterly horrible. Someone translate please? I can only understand "getting into bad COMPANY" that one, I agree! Ah Lians are all bad company. ;D


But my ending would be great, i believe being an ah lian is much better, you see they live more happily then you people who have to trouble so much to go office, see boss face even blowcow, give your bosses sex which is even worste than ah lians to get into the position you want.
If you consider getting high on drugs and commiting suicide and letting your "friends" weep at your death "HAPPY", or if you consider going to the girl's home or jail or getting thrown out by your own family "HAPPY", I have nothing to say but BOY ARE YOU WARPED :D
Having sex with your boss to move up in the company? Oh my. You've been reading too many comics. It happens, but majority WORK for those positions. How? Through studying. Through working hard. Sounds unfamiliar? Look it up in the dictionary. Here: http://dictionary.reference.com/


Worry about exam grades, which school to go, earning how much? so much trouble. I support ah lian, if im the society i truly accept them, they are form of art, when they love a guy they will go for it, they give sex to people whom they love, not for the position.
Are you one? Who wouldn't worry about your exam grades? Until you don't give a damn about studies and don't care if you are jobless and have no education. Which completely contradicts your stand of "Not they don't want to study." Hahahaha hello Ah Lians will have sex with anyone. A guy they love? Their boyfriends change as often as they change their UNDERWEAR. So that would mean that they have sex extremely often with their multiple boyfriends?

So yes, im not saying you have no life, i just want you to learn them as a form of art. Do you see america having people called " ah lian " they are much more scary, if you post about them like you post about ah lians, they'll track you down, and shoot you down.
Again, explain how they are "A FORM OF ART". And Americans do not have "Ah Lians" they have gangsters. Real gangsters. Not wannabe gangster poseurs aka Ah Lians and Ah Bengs. They have the freedom of easily getting weapons and they have the space (Compare US to SG land size please) to run about.

Really, just give yourself a chance alot you hate ah lian, try to learn about them more. They have much good side, count out the bad side. God bless you
We know about them ;D Thank YOU.






I still think this person has a very warped idea on the status/position of a company firm. On the other hand, if this person ever joins a company, I wonder how things will turn out. Hmm!

aal#3

Guess who's back?

AND SOME OF YOU THOUGHT WE WERE DEAD.

HAH! (stop with the OMFG A NEW POST LET'S FLAME WHOOOO)

We're BACK with more invasion of twits!


Now some of you have been asking Why do we not feature Ah Bengs?

The reason is simple. If we put in Ah Bengs then our blog URL wouldn't be so nice.

Come on.

Anti-Ah-Lians-Team. (AALteam)
Anti-Ah-Lians-And-Ah-Bengs-Team. (AALAABteam)

I think the first sounds better. Plus, if we had put AABteam, it just sounds weird.



But that's not the point, really.

Why we put Ah Lians is because it's much more interesting yet dangerous.


Ah Lians? Dangerous? HAHA. Is what some of you think. Aren't the Bengs doing all the fighting? Aren't they the more powerful ones in a gang?

AH-HAH! That's where you're wrong. :)

We all know that guys are upfront and say things directly to your face, whereas girls rather keep it to themselves and bitch behind your backs. In this case, I would say that the Ah Lians are the more dangerous of the species.

I think we've mentioned this before but i'll say it again.

Ah Lians are the true masterminds behind the 'gan family gang' or whatever shit you call it. (I really don't give a damn)

• They get 'insulted' with a stare or comment and call the guys to beat those who insulted them in their place. (Meaning, the Ah Bengs are merely being used to do their filthy work)
• They make use of their Beng 'boyfriends'. (buy this buy that to prove your love! HINT on your blog want list. E.g. Last l0nqq wiibe miiee b0ii ... Followed by: c0upple riinqqs, matchiinqq blah blah blah or whatever shit she wants.)
• They think the world of themselves. (I want this, you better give it to me before I throw a bitch fit and sic my gang on you. Not one can stop me! Even my parents don't care. Everyone owes ME. They have to do things for ME, not the other way round. If I do things for you, i'll take note of it and make sure you do something back for me in return.)
• They're just plain annoying. They can annoy you out of your skulls! Hell! With this power who WOULDN'T listen to her to stop her from annoying them? Hah!

Ah but enough of that.

This is just a short post after many months of MIA. We have and still are observing you! YOU JUST DON'T KNOW IT.

;)




Oh yes by the way, I'm going to count how many people post and comment things like "omgggg so childish just grow up and die", "you all are so lame! Just delete your blog lah", or other random shit like that. It's funny when you realize that all the comments are starting to sound the same no matter what we blog.

cheers!

AAL#2

SUPERMAN RETURNS (again!)

SUPERMAN PRESENTS...

Return of the SKINNIES!

Skinny is the new FAT.

*HOT NEW* COLOURS LIKE PINK, LIME GREEN AND RED!

We carry the classic BLACK skinnies. They make your legs look SUPER skinny! ;D

We also carry the RED HOT skinnies! POPULAR, TRENDY, often worn with MY SUPERMAN LOGO T-shirt!

But come on. If you want your legs to look ULTRA SUPER SKINNY, follow me and wear SEXY and FITTING TIGHTS! :D Ooh-la-la!

You can't beat TIGHTS.

Now comes in Kawaii Grey Hello-Kitty Rabbit Style!

LATEST IN-STOCK! PINK HELLO KITTY ULTRA SKINNIES SET :D

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? FOLLOW ME, SUPERMAN!!!!

GET YOUR SEXY SKINNY TIGHTS TODAY! *wink*

And while you're at it, look out for THIS guy. =D
*credits to TalkingCock.com*

Cheers! aal#2

Skinnies

Skinny pants make people's feet look horribly huge in my opinion. =D
It's become a habit for me to stare at their feet whenever i see people wearing skinny pants.
Especially when worn with sneakers or closed-toed shoes.
And those striking colours like lime green, red and hot pink....those make me... *shudders*

But that's just my opinion. Heh.

aal#1

Don't Bully the Brits! D:<

I'm sure everyone would have heard of this issue by now. The bullying of a Singapore elderly by British tourists.

While I do admit that the actions of the British tourists were indeed a very immature act which prominantly displayed their lack of moral values, it is in my opinion that the Singaporean commenters were no better than them or even worst, and I'm sure that many of them were twits. This can be easily seen by the language they had used in commenting and the mindless threats they had issued to the tourists.

Their many ridiculous comments like:

" bloody cb no hair bully old uncle, no balls to take on younger ppl izzit fucking UK no gov teaching izzit?"

and

"im nt jokin bout dis fuckin hell CALL UR PARENT COME SINGAPORE N LET US BULLY THEM LA NBCB PUKIMAKAO!!! KNN, NBCB, PCB"

have resulted in people thinking of Singaporeans as violent people who have not much manners. Though this has not been openly admitted (because it would be rude), one can tell simply from the tone of non-Singaporean writers.

So here I am, issuing a plea to all twits, male and female alike.

PLEASE USE YOUR BRAIN TO THINK BEFORE WRITTING SUCH STUFF ON AN OPEN WEB SUCH AS YOUTUBE AND SULLYING SINGAPORE'S IMAGE!!!

Your violent, vulgarities filled comments online is seriously giving people bad impressions of Singaporeans, so please do everyone a favour and keep your comments to yourself.

Anyway, I'm very sure that many twits would be guilty of the very same actions themselves, so please, do something about your own moral education before commenting on yourselves.


aal #3

A Post.

Four letters. HA HA.

I find it really amusing that people would put up a blog to rival us out of spite. I wonder if they did it out of pure spite or anger that we took down their only way of spamming and flaming.

Anyhow. A thought struck me while i was browsing through their web (just add an "anti" in front of our url and that's it) and that was, "gee, how un-original can they get." I mean, hell they used our url and stuck a "anti" in front of it, their posts are just rebelling against what we wrote (and interestingly enough, they're proving all our points Haha)

And then i thought. Hey if this blog happened to close down or stop posting, i wonder what they'll blog about. Ironically, they're against us, yet they seem to depend on our material to counter us. Ahh the joy of contradiction and irony.

Looking through many of the past tagwars, there's also this issue of ah lians hating and discriminating "nerds". According to them, nerds seem to be hardcore muggers and use the computer all the time. Geniuses/scientists/etc.

So i have a question. Can you live like a caveman for a week?
That's right. Caveman. CAAAAVEMAN. No tv, no handphone, no ipod, no laptop, no computer, no PDA, no mp3, no mp4, no discman, no camera, no video cam, hell, no lightbulbs no flushing-toilets, no air-con, no fan, no electricity, etc you get the idea. Simply, you, yourself and the wall.

Because these people who invented all these seem to be what ah lians describe as nerds. And since ah lians don't like nerds, they should boycott their items. :D I don't think they can even last 5 days without any electricity whatsoever. Then again, who cares.

Bringing me to yet another point. Some of you readers are right. Why the heck should we care about ah lians and what they intend to do? Then i thought, yeah we shouldn't care. We should just ignore them, let them be. If they die, they die. If they are thrown into jail, they're thrown into jail. If they get away scott-free with theft, they get away. If they bash up close friends, yeah we should let them continue. It's their damn life isn't it. They can end up as hobos and i wouldn't give a hoot.

And then i saw their new website. Not only did they turn everything we said into the exact opposite (i don't really care about that) but now it seems like they're saying that beating people up is good. Smoking gives you a long life and theft is da bomb.

What type of morals are those? All those CME lessons wasted. Back to the point, while we here have censored more than half, close to 70% or more of the photos and backing down a lot, those creatures over there are promoting everything that's against the law, and they still say that we're challenging the authorities.

Once again, let us embrace the wonderful irony of this cracked-up world.

-aal#1

Temp. Removal of Cbox and etc.

Hullo readers! You should have realized by now that our wonderful superduper Cbox is....GONE. *hears collective gasps-

Yes it's gone. For now. Recently, our Cbox has been complaining of being overworked by an endless stream of people, in which the tags come in fast and furiously. Anyhoo. We've temporarily removed the tagboard, so you can all post comments instead :D

Yes yes i know we haven't done a proper post for decades, but aal#3 is supposed to do the next post and well, aal#3's tied up right now. So hang tight readers! We should be updating soon. :)
(Because if we update a usual post people will complain that we repeat our posts and have nothing new and they'll all moo about complaining the living daylights out of.....you get the idea.)

ps: AALteam is NOT a all-girl team.
pps: You can's say that there are more pro-aal and anti-aal taggers because you have tag-wars with pro and anti aal people winning. (sometimes one group totally pwns the other group)

*break*
Okay actually what i've seen on the tagboard is that pro-aal members (Yay!) are whacking a lot of ah lians and spammers who just whack the tagboard (not literally of course. Ouch.) Then you have the neutral party (lol history/ss) and the anti-s. It's actually fun to view the tag-war. Because you have the neutral people trahing it out, listing all the bad points of this blog, and at the very end they leave the conversation with "I love the blog. This blog rocks."

Talk about irony. Hah!

Moving on moving on. We're sorry for all the trouble but hey! Spammers are going to be veeeeeeeery unsucessful in wiping out this comment-war. And you get to read all past entries with no worries. (because Cbox has a limit)


Have a great time readers! :)
-AAL#2

Ah Lian Online REHAB

Just like the title says! This post will be alllll about those poor souls out there who want to stop being a twit and find THE Cure for ahlian-i-sm! :D

There are Three stages of AhLianIsm.
Stage One is for the AhLian wannabes.
Stage Two reagrds the On-and-Off AhLian. (ie: They look twit, type twit but can't stand true-blue AhLians.)
and....
Stage THREE, probably the worse, scariest stage of AhLianIsm....The Chao AhLian.
Oh yes the Chao Ah Lian partakes in every single Chao AhLian (CAL) activity ever known to mankind. Such as...smoking, stealing, vandalizing, swearing at the whole world day and night, violence and gangsterism(poser gangs of course. REAL gangs don't run away from the call of "POLICE COME LE ZHAO ZHAO ZHAO*!") (zhao is a chinese term for run away)

Where was i. Oh yes. Rehab. :)

Stage One is easy to cure. So listen up puny little wannabe AhLian-ers. Or in this case, read carefully. :D

All you have to do is...
#1. Clear out your closet and GO SHOPPING. (Wheee you say, but what i mean is Clear out the Pinky SeasonWear and go shopping for some other colours like green, not pink, blue, not pink, grey, white, did i mention no pink?)

#2. Get a proper hair cut. (By hair cut i mean NO rebonding of already straight hair.)

#3. Listen to your English teacher. Pay attention during English lessons and drop the AlTerNatE cAps MoDe and the X's and the Z's at thex backz of your wordx.



If you can overcome this stage then, WHOOPIE! You might just have been cured. Yay.





Stage Two is more demanding.

#1. Closet CleanOut! (same as Stage One #1)

#2. Snip-Snip! Haircut! (Same applies. No rebonding of ALREADY straight hair and for gosh sakes don't start a curtain shop or grow your own curtains. I know DIY is a lot cheaper but....just don't. You need BOTH eyes achieve maximum sight!)

#3. Again, drop the typing fiasco. You may think it's original but hey. Look at allll the AhLians out there doing the same thing. Girls, it ain't original anymore. Scrap the double letters liikee tthesee. We're not telling you to give up blogging or MySpace if you love it but try typing using proper or easy-on-the-eyes English.

#4. Buy Listerine. Not that your breath stinks but your words sure do. Do away with the Hokkien vulgarities and give yourself some respect. It'll save your butts from getting into trouble with the teachers and it'll stop making people look at you with disgust.

#5. Pick up a hobby. We know you all love photography....so go study it from different angles. Take NICE photos of yourself that make sense, photos you can keep and show to the kids down the road without going "Ohmygawd what was i thinking back then!?" Take photos of the sights around you! Not all 100 photos of Friendster has to be on you, yourself and you.

#6. Major revamp of technology! You don't have to get all pinky stuff with glitter and millions and millions of neoprints and bling stuck to you handphone/mp3/mp4/ipod, etc. Basics will do. AND! Trash all that techno away! Listen to some other genre of music. Techno will make you bop your head off one day. Or drive you to insanity. Blogskins don't always have to be black and pink, black or emo background. Have something bright for once. And stop those silly popups like "Helloows" "pleasee taggies miiee". They just annoy the heck out of people.

#7. RESIST! The most difficult one to overcome. Because you're a Stage TWO, you still have hope.
- Don't fall in love with those things you call BODY ART. If you do love it, go for it...when you're 20+, not when you're still schooling. Don't Do tattoos on impulse. THINK about it before acting. Such as: "how am i gonna get this off when i don't want it?" I heard tattoo removal hurts. And think of what might happen if you have 10 piercings on one ear and it all gets infected. Ew. Or the tongue for that matter. Sayonara Freedom of Speech.
- DON'T give in to peer pressure to "Go for it" and take a fag (smoke). If you call going around looking sleepy-eyed with a horrible stink from your mouth constantly hanging on to a packet of toxins for dear life COOL, you've entered Stage Three. There's a time and place to be dumb.
- Don't do stupid things. Like cut yourself. Or purposely rebel. We all know 12-16 is the rebellious stage of every teen/tween's life but sometimes there's a REASON why parents ground you. I mean, why be all dumb and go against your parents when you can just listen to them, gain their trust and then earn your freedom.



Kudos to you if you managed to pass Rehab For StageTwo! :D *applause*





Stage Three. Chao Ah Lians!
The most god-forsaken bunch who seems determined to stagger down that evil looking road to ___(fill in the blanks)______.


Stage Three is the hardest to pull through with all the druggies, stealing, gangsterism(poser)

Repeat steps #1-#6 from Stage Two. You can't do #7 because you're already doing it.

So here's Step #8.
A veeery difficult thing to do. Most of you won't be able to do this.

Admit your problem and seek help from the professionals. "The first step to recovery is knowing and accepting your problem"

-If you want to get over your druggie/alcohol problem, call a help hotline. Or get into a hobby that distracts you from all these. Sports is a good way to curb that problem.
Same goes from HappyHourSlashing accompanied with emo-ing. Help Hotline people talk to you while you can stay annonymous.

-As for stealing, no doubt you most probably can't return stuff that you've already used but just keep your itchy fingers to yourself. Try this: When shopping, bring a notebook and pencil along. When you see something you really like but can't afford, note it down or save it via sms and work hard to get it. Stealing always seems cool....until you get caught. Don't risk it cause it's not worth it.

-And gangsterism. That's the worse. So many people have recounted that when they tried to leave a gang, they were brutally punished. And you know what? Most of them never regretted it. It's not a walk in the park to play with the law time and time again. But hey, you leave the world of crime, and i bet the burden will be lifted off your shoulders.
I bet you're scoffing at this. Thinking "What they ****! trying to be a Saint is it? !@$%!$#(%!$"
Heck no i'm not a Saint. I'm not even from SAJC or SAS.
But, i bet you've watched I not Stupid Too.
You saw what happened when the two main heros got into trouble and had to cough up cash. Their "brothers" vanished! POOF. Like magic!
What do you think will happen to you if you ever get into trouble? REAL trouble. Not the "Eh someone bang into me never say sorry come beat them up now" type of trouble. Trouble with the LAW.


Of course if you can't do all of the above yet still reaaaally really want out of the CAL business, here's a last resort.
Join the Buddhist Nuns (Not bad luh you'll shave off the curtains and be able to wear some other colour)
Or become a Catholic Nun, completely devoted to your religion. :D

Hoohaha. If you actually do that, go write a book about this and publish it. :p



Ps: The arguement on the tagboard is becoming really boring. The arguement line is the same so basically it's all crap. Boooo.



Have a Twit-Free Day! :D
-aal#2

Poser Twit - ~!%#@~&~- KKATH

HOORAH. We are back! This time we're featuring a true blue poser twit! This poser was highlighted to us by a anti-ah-lian who wishes to stay annoymous.

We took a little trip to this twit's friendster and boy, did we suffer.
Let me introduce you to our poser twit for the day, ~!%#@~&~- KKATH' !!! (name has been modified)

Her friendster profile is really quite short. But a picture is worth a thousand words, and in her case, one picture is worth...well, nothing actually. Not to me anyway since i puked out my breakfast and lunch upon looking at her photos and captions.

*Takes a deep breath to prepare for what's coming next*
Let's start on the photos.

I must say that this girl is really horny. Her photos (which i saw, sadly) were brutally taken by force by us from her friendster profile quite some time ago (we were all bickering on who was to blog about her) and when i checked today, she seemed to have taken down a few photos already.

Too bad we already have it. *evil smile* and hoorah again! For my excellent memory has once again proved worthy by remembering quite a bit of the quotes! So prepare ye eyes lads and lassie! Hereeeee's, ~!%#@~&~- KKATH' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her first photo is probably her nicest photo. Because you can't see her face and she's not doing any of the TOP10 poses. Plus there's a dog! :D

Don't turn away now folks! This is how our little miss poser twit looks like. (I shall call her LMPT for short)

Ah hah! This photo was taken down by her recently. LMPT here put a caption that went something like: "He tell me to take off my shirt" o_O golly-gee! No way in hell please don't do that i do treasure my eyes you know.

Oh this caption was horrible (Thank goodness she took it off her friendster. Too bad we have it here :D) This caption was something like this "...he unbutton my shirt" Okay. Time-out. My eyes have starting bleeding.

This one below had no caption but LOOK folks! It's the magic nose stud! :D

This caption read: " urghhs. same pose aqain. haha " Well DUH of course it's the same pose. It's in Ah Lians Cam-whoring Poses 101. Notice how she uses "q" instead of a "g"

AND! The answer to all your questions! Here's PROOF that she's a poser. This fella in the picture is SUPPOSED to be her *ahem* beloved laogong, named "Joshua"

We checked out his friendster account (most probably made by our dear LMPT) and guess what?! He only had ONE friend. :D And that ONE friend is our dead LMPT! Come on people even losers on frienster have at least 5 friends!

Here's his link: http://profiles.friendster.com/user.php?statpos=bc&uid=2108610X <-- i changed the last digit. :D You can go find out on your own. See now i DIDN'T give out HIS link!

Anyway, here is his very very interesting friendster profile.

Male, 87, In a Relationship
Interested In: Friends
Member Since: Aug 2005
Location: Singapore
Hometown: KAT.#
Company: I LOVE YOU.#
Joshua's URL:
/jkat2X (again, changed the last thingy)
"YONG BU FEN LI.OKAYY.#"

Oh yes indeedy LMPT. Your husband is 87 and you are a secondary kid.

More About Joshua

Schools(Other):
I WANT YOU.#
Occupation:
I MISS YOU.#
Affiliations:
IM SORRY.#
Hobbies and Interests:
FORGIVE ME.#
Favorite Books:
DUI BU QI.#
Favorite Movies:
WO MEN KE YI HUI DAO GUO QU MAH?#
Favorite Music:
WO HUI JING JING BAO ZHU NI.#
Favorite TV Shows:
BU ZAI RANG NI LI KAI WO.#
Zodiac Sign:
Taurus
About Me:
YONG BU FEN LI.OKAYY.#
Who I Want to Meet:
WO HUI AI NI XIANG NI ZHEN XI NI.#

BU ZAI RANG NI LI WO ER QU.#

ADD ME AT BABYDEVIL_CLAWZ@HOTMAIL.COM.

KATH.DUI BU QII.WO AII NII.

Oh. My. Goodness. How fake can this get? No real guy will EVER do this to his friendster profile. Seriously. It degrades all macho-ness of his male gender. Tsk.

AND! Most interestingly, his comments (what used to be testimonials.) Check it out.

TWO Comments by LMPT!!!! WOW.

Posted 21/02/2007 05:34
!DEARDEAR.

SORRY NARHS. SO LONG NEBER WRITE IU TESTIMONIAL NEHS.

HARHS. WHRE DID IU GO?

IE MISS IU. DARLINQQ!

DN AVOID ME LIKE IU DID LAST YEAR.

AVOID ME SINCE VALENTINES TILL MY BIRTHDAY.

SUDDENLY POP OUT!

ARGHHHS!!

IE MISS IU LOTS LOTS.

DN LIKE THAT LE NARHS. OK??

LOVE IU MUCH MUCH LOVE ME BACK&& MUAQQS!

*KATH!
&& TAKECARES :)

-------------------------------

Posted 20/08/2005 02:24
::_________//Joshua][aka][Lao`gong][

hhaiiyoo....uuuuu........DA LAN ZHUU!!!!

owaess sleep....denn sumoree need mii morniin calll hhaiishh.....ii osoo need tuhh sleep dde nehx!!!!!

lols....kaes la.....saaee sumtiink guud bouut euu bbahhx....ggt to noee hiim throughh myy cousiin gorr....

hhe llovess`bbasketball][
`commputerr....
`arrcade....
`soccerr....

kaeyy..therre goess eurr testiimoniiall lliaaox......

::___________//Kathhleen][aka][Lao`po][

Wonderful romance isn't it? *gacks* Let's go back to LMPT's friendster page and dig though all of her 748 comments! :D

Here it is! On the 5th last page!

JoshuaPosted 21/08/2005 06:44
::_______________//LaoPo....

hiie....iim back to continue my testi.....

humphh.....diis tiime rounnd.....

wad should ii rite leh???

well....

crap along bahx....

kaes.....

hmm...lemme c.....hw should ii continue my testi lehx.........

well....i think its the end my the episode2 of my testimonial le....

kaes...stay tuned to my 3rd episode of da testimonial lor....lols...

::_________][LaoGong][kLaOtVhE][
stay tuned...tobe continued....

------------------------

JoshuaPosted 03/10/2005 05:24
h e y g i r l . . .

s o r i s o l o n g n v h a l p u 2
c o n t i n u e t h e e p i s o d e s. . .
p a i s e h h o r x. . .

h a h a . . . r m b y t d. . . a t
s t a g m o n t . . . u a n d y o u r s i s...
d i s i a o m i i h o r x . . .
g o o d l o r z u. . .

s a e i w e a r j e r s e y g o
s t a g m o n t. . .v e r i d i u l i a n h o r?

g o s t a g m o n t p l a y
b a s k e t b a l l n i d t o w e a r
t u x e d o m e h x?l o l s

k a e s l a r . . . s o h o w u r s i s
t i n k o f t h e s a m??

t e l l h e r h e s t i l l o n s h e l f . . .

n o b o d y r e s e r v e d h i m. . .

h a h a . . .

b u t h o n e s t l y u r s i s a n d m y b r o g o t f u q i l i a n l e h x. . .

p s s . . . d o n t e l l h e r . . .

i d o n w a n k e n a h e r s u a n s
a g a i n. . .

o k l i a o t y m s u p . . .

3 r d e p i s o d e e n d. . .
s t a y t u n e d f o r n e x t.
------------------------

JoshuaPosted 26/01/2006 00:24
][ k a t h ][

i veri long no rite testii 4 yoo le hor??


kae...give u tish...hapi..

ur bdae den give u mur....

don tok le...mi bz...

][ l a o g o n g ][

-------------------------

I shall not continue further than this. I'll leave it up to you to decide if LMPT is a poser, desperate enough for a boyfriend to do this, attention-seeking, attention-deprived or, AN INNOCENT WIDDLE GIRL. :D

Till then readers! Cheers!

-aal#1

National Twit Day

Woah! It's another post just after i did one! Well okay it's not really a post.

I'm sure you all would have noticed the tagboard by now. It's red-and-white! GUESS WHY.

*ah lians pause to think why*

Oh come on it's so DUH you don't have to think. That's right. National Day is coming up! And for the first time ever (as you all can probably guess what i'm about to say) the Little Red Dot is holding her annual parade on a floating platform at Marina Bay while they tear down a historical site in Kallang to erect a more modern stadium to blend in with the durian. ^^v

Any-hoo. We probably won't post on National Day, however, MOT, aka Museum Of Twits has done a previous post on NDP. So you should go check it out. Here's the link: http://museum-of-twits.blogspot.com/2005_08_01_archive.html

Have fun reading, close the door so the folks won't deem you mental for laughing so much and don't forget to try and read the other posts. :D

Till then,
<3 <3 <3 <3 aal#2

Ah Lian Defender

Hoorah! AALteam is back in action!


It seems that we were sorely missed! And i spy an AhLian Defender on the tagboard. Instead of letting the other readers flood the tagboard with the usual reasons of ahlian-i-sm, i shall type it out here :)



24 Jul 07, 12:28psserby: hell man . who is the ones who wrote the blog ?
(That would be aal#1, aal#2 and aal#3 you moron. It's clearly stated under "Our Mission")


24 Jul 07, 13:13psserby: and i sother peoples blog why do you all care so much ?
(Because i have no clue to what "sother" is so i won't answer you, dimwit.)


24 Jul 07, 13:15psserby: & do you all have he rights to care about what other people write ? stop insulting people like that & dunt say that i am helping ah lians . i just find that is other people blog .
(Again you make no sense you Ah Lian. Oh yes we can tell you ARE a Lian plainly because you leave spaces before your punctunation, which normal people DON'T do. :))


24 Jul 07, 13:18psserby: & why do you all grab other people pictures & put in this BLOG ? whats the problem with other people blog ? STOP SAYING OTHER PEOPLE !YOU ALL JUST DUNT HAVE THE RIGTHS TO INSULT PEOPLE .
(The only problem with ah Lians' blogs would be that they give people sore eyes. AH HAH! But we DO censor the pictures! That is, if you ask us nicely. And well, if we don't have the right to insult ah lians, you have no right to insult our creation aka aalteam.blogspot.com)


24 Jul 07, 13:19psserby: & DUTN TELL ME THAT WHO EVER PIERCED MORE THEN IS AH LIAN . OTHER PEOPLE LIEK TO PIERCED THEN PIERCED LA ! IS NONE OF ALL YOUR PROBLEMS .
(What horrible english. Oh, may in inquire "WHO EVERY PIERCED MORE THEN IS AH LIAN" more than WHAT? One? Two? Three? Ten Thousand? Well DUH it's none of our problem. We just find it disturbing. I mean, what if by some ill fate an Ah Lian with 10 piercings on her ear has infection all at the same time? My gosh it'll be like looking at a rotting ear.)


24 Jul 07, 13:20psserby: is their body what ! is not your body . why should you all care so much about it ?
(Oh. I guess i just answered that up there.)


24 Jul 07, 13:22psserby: & RIGHT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE GANLAOPO OR WHAT YOUR PROBLEM MEHS ? DO YOU ALL EVEN KNOW WHAT DOES GANLAOPO MEANS
(If you're not defending the Ah Lians i don't see why you should get so worked up. Unless you yourself is a GANLAOPO or have one and may be feeling revolted at the idea of a female having a laopo.)


24 Jul 07, 13:22psserby: & WHAT AFFAIRS ?
(Right back at you. WHAT AFFAIRS? Can't you plainly see it? Ah Lian has a boyfriend, a laogong and a laopo! If this isn't an affair please tell me what is :))


24 Jul 07, 13:24psserby: & THEY LIEK TO REBORN THEIR HAIR CANNOT ARHS ? THEIR HAIR MASSY THEN THEY DUNT WANT TO BE SO UNTIDY CANNOT IZZIT? PEOPLE REBORN HAIR ALSO YOUR PROBLEMS MEHS ? THEN PEOPLE **** ALSO YOUR PROBLEM IZIT
(Pardon me while i laugh at you. *HAHAHA* Okay, person who "LIEK" "MASSY" hair. Gee if they didn't LIKE being untidy don't you think their fringes would have been pinned up? Well of course it's not our problem. We just highlighted the fact that over-rebonding your hair firstly spoils your hair and secondly, if you already have straight hair, why rebond it for the sake of rebonding? A rather waste of money if you ask me. It's FINANCIAL PLANNING. If they have money to burn, well go ahead and rebond until you have to get a wig :D)


24 Jul 07, 13:24psserby: & PEOPLE HAE LAOGONG OR WHAT . CANNOT MEHS ? YOU JEALOUS OR WHAT ?
(Why would i be jealous of their laogong? I shudder at the thought of even being related to them. AND by right, if a woman has a laogong, it is only logical that she doesn't have an exterior boyfriend, boy toy, dear dear, ah boy, laopo or whatsoever. That would be deemed as an AFFAIR. :D)


24 Jul 07, 13:25psserby: they wake up have princess shower ? cannot mehs >? not like other people bath for 5 misn come out izzit ?
(Of course they can have their princess shower! However NORMAL people who go to school in the morning would take about 5-10mins don't you agree? Unless! You're an ah lians too! :D)


24 Jul 07, 13:26psserby: they wants to be tidy only . cannot stand infront of the mirror for 5 misn mehs ?
(Oh look you're so agitated you're having more and more typos. Or not. Hah. SO who the hell stand in front of the mirror for 5mins just to comb their FRINGE?)


24 Jul 07, 13:28psserby: they take out their phones asap is beacause they wants to meet people out cannot mehs ? they are boring they have fun lifes ! not like you all liek is just study study study .
(You made me laugh at your stupidity!!! :D "They are boring they have fun lifes!" i would LOVE to hear your statement on this. Well let me ask you. Who the hell would practically glue their eyes onto the phone and wait 24/7 for messages and calls just to CHAT? Look at their friendster. I think they've met enough "FRIENDS" for a hundred lifetimes. And people study to get ahead in life. The only place i know that hires people just for the FACE and BODY would be.....well you should know what 'profession' it is don't you?)


24 Jul 07, 13:28psserby: & DUNT TELL ME THAT YOU ALL AFTER WORK OR SCHOOL DUNT TAKE OUT PHONE TO SMS YOUR BOYFRIEND OR FRIENDS ?
(Of course! But not to the point where your only focus is on the phone. Which idiot stares at the handphone screen while crossing the road? Unless you're begging for an accident then i have nothing to say.)


24 Jul 07, 13:29psserby: & YOU ALL DUNT PUT YOUR NAMES WHY MUST OTHERS PUT THEIR NAMES ? HUMPJI.
(Ahhh. The insults appear! If you tell me that their names are really 'xiiaoblackiie' or 'cuteiix-piiexz' or some other retarded name i will deem you an idiot and laugh at you eternally. Keeping our identity from people like you are for safety reasons DUH. It's the same as travelling around in a gang. For SAFETY. Okay in ah lians' case a gang is to intimidate and threaten people.)


24 Jul 07, 13:31psserby: people wear more fashionable cannot mehs ? if not wear like what t-shirt plus what lao aunty wear the clothes ar
(My God have some respect for the elders will you? How can you insult the aunties who work and contribute to the economy while ah lians are just a waste of space. After all, they have FUN LIFES don't they? They aren't like us, who STUDY STUDY STUDY to get a proper job. :D)


24 Jul 07, 13:33psserby: & THEY WEAR SHORT SKIRTS IS BECAUSE THEY HAVE SEXY LEGS . BUT NOT Elephant LEGS . BUT I THINK YOU ALL DO HAVE lephant LEGS RIGHT ? JUST ADMIT IT .
(Sexy legs? Oh my god i think i'm going to puke. The only reason i can think of for wearing super short skirts is to attract attention. Either that or they're training to aim for a certain 'profession'. Oh well. But that's just me and my thinking isn't it?)


24 Jul 07, 13:34psserby: they love pink also your problem mehs ?
(Whatever did the poor colour PINK do to the ah lians to be treated so over-ratedly and made an ah-lian prime colour? tsk.)


24 Jul 07, 13:34psserby: dunt tell me small children like pink they are also ah lians izzit ?
(Unlike ah lians, kids are CUTE.)


24 Jul 07, 13:35psserby: & stop insulting ah lian la horhs . they are much more better then you all .
(Are you SURE? Are you SURE? How are we insulting them? :D)


24 Jul 07, 13:37psserby: they have matching bags & handphone is because they are very close sisters . they are loyal .
(Oh please even TWINS don't have everything in the exact same colour and texture! So tell me. When one gets caught by the police, who will stay behind to defend the other huh? Don't tell me you will be so LOYAL as to stay behind and get caught and punished. Oh you'll say that now, but when it actually happens, i won't be surprised to see you high-tail out of the scene and leave you SISTER behind when the police comes.)


24 Jul 07, 13:38psserby: & dunt think that what your english very good huhs ? & who says that ah lian dunt study ?? they do study okays ! just that you duntknow all rights!
(Well i know my English is better than yours. I don't spell MESSY as MASSY and i don't mispell LIKE and LIEK. Ah-HAH! You contradicted yourself again! A previous tag by you told me that " they are boring they have fun lifes ! not like you all liek is just study study study .")


24 Jul 07, 13:38psserby: they are chio and you are ugly
(Gawd how immature can you get. Is this already your last feeble point to stand up for ah lians?)

24 Jul 07, 13:40psserby: & they liek techno cannot mehs ? whats the problem with you all la horhs ! NONE OF ALL YOUR PROBLEMS .
(You seriously need to learn how to spell LIKE. I can't wait for the day you sms you boyfriend saying "I LIEK YOU." And again, senseless comment. What's the problem with us? None of all our problems? Meaning that we have no problems? Then it's a redundant statement you twit.)


24 Jul 07, 13:41psserby: they dunt have fat asses &with pug faces . they have pretty faces . not liek you all .
(If they have pretty faces they wouldn't hide behind their freaky long fringes would they? Or paint their face with make-up.)


24 Jul 07, 13:43psserby: they wants to let go their hair and cover their faces is just because that they like it . IS NIOT because they have pimples .
( Are you SURE?? :D NOIT indeed. Hahahaha! My goodness you're making my day with your horrendous spelling.)


24 Jul 07, 13:45psserby: stop this blog . stop writing abotu ah lians . write about your own . look infront of the mirror of yourself see if you all prettier then ah lian anot .
(Write about my own what? Ah lians? HAHA!!! Well i do regard myself prettier because i can actually SEE my face. I've no blockages in front of my eyes.)


24 Jul 07, 13:45psserby: you all are just lao aunty and lau uncle .
(Whatever did the aunties and uncles do to you? In my perspective your parents are aunties and uncles too you know. Please don't insult people's parents. It's not nice and not very fillial-like.)


24 Jul 07, 13:45psserby: i dunt care what school you from .
(I bet you do. You're just itching to attack us. I can tell. :D)


24 Jul 07, 13:46psserby: you all are just jealous of people .
(Are we now?)


24 Jul 07, 13:46 psserby: because you all are just ugly and fat . and can study but super nerd !
(Are you indicating yourself as pretty and thin? You discrace top models everywhere then. A-HAH! Again, you said ah lians study. Are you now deeming them as nerds too?)


24 Jul 07, 13:46psserby: PLUS humpji .
(Run out of things to say haven't you. I'm not surprised.)


24 Jul 07, 13:46psserby: anyway . i will be back here to see what you all wants to write about me .
(I think you'll be pleased and pissed. :D)


24 Jul 07, 13:47psserby: write all you all want .
(And i did.)


psserby: but i will be back here to see what you all got to say .
(So see! Iive said my share.)


psserby: STOP INSULTING PEOPLE . UNDERSTAND ?
(When did it become INSULTS? I don't hurl vulgarities at them do i?)


24 Jul 07, 13:47psserby: & BYE
(Ta-ta!)


----------





Now that that's done and over with, i bet you readers are just itching for photos! And yes we do keep our word to censor the photos even though with their fringes you can't identify them. Anyway, this post features LAOGONGS AND LAOPOS! Wheee. Till then! -aal#2





And guess what? They're doing an ad for Super Glue.

MUAH. ^^
Super Glue. 100% Garunteed to seal his and her lips together while you take a photo! Prevents slippage. :)








It's really effective! Works from all angles.

You call me idiot! I can haz a sadded.

A little something for those who tagged.

In Singapore, there's something known as freedom of speech. In other words, we are allowed to voice out our thoughts and opinions through mediums like a blog. If you don't like what we write, don't read it.

One of you asked how we would feel if people called us idiot #1, idiot #2, idiot #3. My answer is go ahead, after all its your opinion, doesn't mean its a fact, and I'm sure aal 1 and aal 2 agrees with this. Besides, theres this saying ... it takes one to know another ... so if we are idiots, than those who call us idiots would be ... ?

aal #3

Its the holidays.

One of the times of the year when twits everywhere come out to play.

They loiter at void decks, and shopping malls causing trouble and disturbance to people around them.

The point of this post?

When you go out, watch out and don't run foul of these air-heads.

Happy Holidays. Don't let the twit-bug bite.

aal#3

To the idiot who claims we are "tiim0thhy kk0hh". Whoever the guy is, we are 100% not him. Please do NOT link us with one of your himbo pals. Thank You very much.

Anyway ... back to business.

One of our aal members happen to be a good friend of the CHIJ twits. How the poor sould has managed to retain his/her poor soul, i have no idea. Anyway .... we thus have first hand knowledge of the twit breed.

First up, their language.

The way they mix Japanese with their super irritating curses and half-baked dialect is an insult to the Japanese language. Anyway, have anyone noticed, despite all their threats to get someone to whack you up, the real beating never really comes. You know why ? Pure and simple, twits are gutless. No matter what they say, they are quaking like mad on the inside. Which is why even after receiving so many threats, not one hair on my head has been touched by a twit and her gang.

Secondly, the twits lack of ability to think.

Sometimes, the things that come out of their mouths simply amuses me. "My kor don't want me le. How ?? I feel so sad and depressed, feel like ending my life." The next min ...
"That guy just now looking at me hor !!! ahhh !!! He's so KAWAII !!!" Is that totally brainless or what !?!? This so obviously displays their lack of brains. Which is why meaningless things affect them sooo much. Becasue there is nothing else in their empty head to occupy their thoughts.

Last, and the most disgusting one of all in my opinion.

The way they use their "chio" body to pose in every circumstance is totally detestable. When they are trying to appease someone, they start tilting their heads up, fluttering their eyelashes .... When they are angry with someone, their fringe comes down to hide one eye, while the other eye glares angry at the person in question. Their lips go into a pout ... When they are trying to impress a guy, the fringe comes down also, and once in awhile, they make eye contact with the guy, while letting out a girlish giggle. When they stand, they push their bust out, making it look bigger than before.
All this would be fine, if it weren't for the fact that half of them are actually fat asses with pug faces ... imagine a pig batting its eyelashes at you ... one would probably puke more than half of whatever one has consummed before meeting the pig.

aal#3

Spamming Glory eh?

Oh yay. Another IDIOT.
I've heard of a person with two faces.
But this person takes the cake.
Talk about split personalities.
May i turn your attention to our tagboard.


Felicia Chin, tingting, qitong, applellboiishh and appelish --> the same person.

At least that's what derived from this:








THE SAME IP ADDRESS. Goodness! If this isn't stupidity i don't know what is. That girl/guy is practically talking to himself/herself on the tagboard! Not only talking but contradiciting and scolding herself/himself!

Talk about twits. Hah!

aal#2

Five Facts

Yay! A new post! :D

Today, we bring to you a special post.
No slander.
No primping of twits,
No photos.
BUT FACTS. :)))))))))))))))

What type of facts you wonder.
The very best kind of course!
Cold. Hard. True. FACTS.
Annoying Facts.


Fact #1: Twits like attention.
Evidence:
-Music blasting in public places and public transport with LOUD giggling accompaniment.
-Reeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaally short skirts to attract chi-ko-pehs :)

Fact#2: Twits like pink. A LOT.
Evidence:
-See for yourself.

Fact#3: They love symmetry.
Evidence:
-Twits often have 'twins'
-matching bags
-matching phone accesories
-matching hairstyles
-boyfriends with matching clothing styles :D (then again Bengs have the same style of 'fashion' too)

Fact#4: Twits love STRAIGHT.
Evidence:
-Lookie! Straight hair! Freakishly straight hair in fact!
-You don't see lesbian twits do you? No, if you see a picture of a twit kissing a girl, it's probably her reflection. Now that's just being a narcissist. (or pretending to have a TWIN :D)

Fact#5: Twits have bad spelling.
Evidence:
-need i say more? Or rather: ne3d ii shaAeeX m0rEez?


Yes this is a really short post. We're kind of preoccupied with our lives too so please be patient and continue being an ANTI-AH-LIAN :D

-aal#3

Jokes! for all

Hello! We do apologize for making you all wait for the post AAL#1 is SUPPOSED to do. So here are some random jokes about...TWITS.

-aal#2
==========================================
Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently and drove to Ah Lian's place to show
it to her.

So there Ah Beng was bragging the various functions of his new car to
his girlfriend.

"This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!"
"Ha! Really ah!!! Steady lah!" said Ah Lian.
"Some more hor, this is Automatic one, vely easy to drive!"
So Ah Lian said, "Let me try! I wan, I wan!"
So Ah Lian took the driver's seat and shifted the gear and floored the
accelerator.

The next moment, the car sped backwards and crashed into the lamp-post.
"Alamak! What u doing? U Siao Char Bo! U see lah! Wah Piang eh!"
screamed Ah Beng.
"Solee, solee, pai sah lah! No lah, I tot hor, "R" for racing mah!"


Once upon a time, a group of Ah Bengs stepped into a lounge and wanted
the DJ to play the song "Ah Cheng Buey Ro Ti"
(In Hokkien means Ah Cheng buys bread).

The DJ told them that they only have English songs and told them to
re-select another song.
The Ah Bengs were very angry and kicked up a big fuss claiming the DJ
was insulting them.
The manager had to intervene in order to calm them down.
Finally after a long talk with Ah Bengs, the manager found out that they
were actually asking for the song "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous
Brothers.

=======================================

One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey and wanted to
get down to the ground floor.
As they looked at the dial, they could see the number 20 down to number
2.

It was then followed by a G.
As they were not English-educated, they were puzzled and had no idea
what does the letter G mean.
Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit G.
When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so
impressed and asked the first Ah Lian,"Wah low!!!
How you know one?"
The first Ah Lian replied smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero mah..."

=====================================

If Twits Ruled the World

First thing i did when i went to see this website was read the tagboard. All i can say is,

What the hell happened!?

Apparently there is some dispute going on between ah lians and our ever-loyal readers. What can i say but, ah lians are so immature, thinking the world of themselves because they know how to curse and swear in English, Chinese and Hokkien. If you think you're great, then. *Ahem* WELL DONE AH LIANS! YOU KNOW HOW TO SCOLD IN SOOOOO MANY LANGUAGES! WELL DONE! BRAVO! YOU ARE SO SO SOOOOO SMART! :D

Let's praise them for their ingenius swearing skills! *Cheers*

-------------------

The following part of the post will be in ENGLISH for easy understanding and simply because it burns my eyes, kills my brain cells and wastes my time to type in Twit.

As i scrolled down the tagboard, one comment gave me an idea to blog.

14 Jan 07, 12:51

teehee!: lians are so dumb. If Singapore becomes a twit country, it'll plunged back into the Third World and i'll make sure to migrate.

Seriously. What if AH LIANS take over the country?! *shudder.*

Hmmm.

It might actually get interesting!

Imagine the rules.

RULES!

1. Schools will be a place for meeting up with friends and chatting! Learning is a STRICT NO-NO! :))))
2. Singapore will be called SiinGap0rrExXx! Twit will be the national language!
3. Everyone has to type in TWIT! Remember to double your "ii"s and add kawaii little xXx's after your words! :))))
4. Everyone has to wear PINK from Thursday-Sunday! However if you want to wear pink from Monday-Sunday, we won't mind. :)))))
5. No NERDS allowed!
6. Smoking will be allowed everywhere! You can smoke and inhale 2nd-hand smoke ALL DAY LONG! :)))
7. Drugs can be bought and sold FREELY! It's not the Twit Government's problem if anyone dies of overdose or steps on a needle.
8. Fighting will be allowed! FREE MEDICAL FEES IF THERE'S A VALID REASON.
9. There will only be broadcasts of cartoons like the PowerPuff Girls and Korean/Hong Kong Dramas and JAY CHOU! LOTS AND LOTS OF JAY CHOU!
10. MTV will be banned and replaced with NT! (NON-STOP TECHNO!)
11. Stealing will be considered as an Art.
12. No-one will give a heck if you have pre-marital sex or if you get married at the age of 12.
13. All clubs and casinos will be open 24/7!
14. Bugis Street will have Discount Tuesdays! :)))))
15. Nerds or HUMJI-KIAs will go to JAIL!
16. STRICTLY FOR AH LIANS AND AH BENGS! MAT AND MINAHS TOO! :)))))

I swear i will pack up and migrate if this ever happens. Think about it. Singapore will plunge into the 4th World if this happens!

No Nerds = No technology, no computer for their blogging, no maintanence for LIFTS, no new discoveries like the ipod, no repairs, etc.

No school = No education, no job, no service, no workers.

TG and Nonstop chinese dramas = Everyone will turn into zombines banging their heads to the techno beat and blabbering chinese quotes in that kawaii voice of theirs.

Bugis Strees Discount Tuesdays = No money no income everyone will die.

Drugs, Smoking, Booze = Drunkards, more accidents, more fighting, more killing, diminishing population.

Basically if twits ran the country, they'll be getting rid of themselves. HEY! That might not be so bad after all. :))))))

CALLING FOR HELP!

AAL needs translators for this Ah Lian's blog.

http://saranqhaeyo-loveu.blogspot.com/

Many of you may be familiar with her. Her URL has been spammed on anti-twit tagboards many times, especially since the recent spamming of "W." (that kinda reminds me of Watari from DeathNote. Lol) Someone claimed that "W" was in fact, a familiar friend known as "rayner" or "the guy who's extremely vulgar"

We paid a little visit to miss "eviilld0lliie"s blog, and to our horror, we couldn't understand most of it! So here are the words which we cannot make head or tail of. We do hope you readers can help us in the translation of this.....Twit Language.

1) qq0iinqq
from the sentence: qq0iinqq ttuhh sk0ll llerrhhs w0rrhhs ..

2) yyews
from the sentence: shoulldd iie bbelliieve yyews mmarrhhs ?
(okay we did manage to translate this one but "yyews"? that's a whole new level of YOU)

3) mmeaiis
from the sentence: dden yyews dullan wiibb mmeaiis ffers wabb ?
(again, we figured it out. Again, it's a whole new level. ME= mmeaiis? me ais?)

4) ttrsutt
from the sentence: kkeep askiinqq m0iisellff whetther wan ttrsutt yyews mmarrhhs ..

5) jjastt, oorbb
from the sentence: jjastt siitt iinffr0ntt oorbb e c0mpp ffers e wh0lle dae ..

6) qq0rtt
from the sentence: cuz qq0rtt ppr0bb wiibb m0ii deviice ..

7) ffiiqqurriinqq
from the sentence: dden was ffiiqqurriinqq ttiill iie bberiie DULAN !!!

8) qq0iinqq mmallayssiia
from the sentence: lla0qq0nqq qq0iinqq mmallayssiia llerhhs !
( i think Mr Llaoqqonqq is going to somewhere called mmallayssiia. Anyone who's been there, do advertise a little. =))

9) iie DOTE
from the sentence: iie DOTE hhiim llarrhhs ,, hhe ddamn swiitt llarhs ~

10) ttakkiiecarriie
from the sentence: ttakkiiecarriie orbb uur b0ddyy ~
(hmm. sounds Japanese. KAWAII-NE!! I really feel for the Japs.)

11) suddentlliie
from the sentence: suddentlliie sh0o h0tt ttuhh mmeaiis ssiia ..
(Anyone can tell us what she means by "so hot to me sia")

12) senttense
from the sentence: iie was waiittiinqq ffers ttishh senttense ttiil iie bbecum llaoahma lle !
(oh wait. I just figured it out!)

13) qqiianjjiiu
from the sentence: iie ttiink iie qqiianjjiiu tto0 muchhiies lle !
(muchhiies? munchies? WTF is qqiianjjiiu?)

random quote: "errmms ,, sttiill qq0rtt all0adds ppll supp0rrtt mmeaiis dderhhs rriiqqhht ?"
(who knows dearie? rayner might pop over here and spam us again. Well, you got the support of your llaoogoooong)

14) nnabrr on hhiiss hhp ffers a bberriie bberiie ll0nqq ttyme llerhhs !
(that's one whole sentence we can't figure out.)

15) pp0onqqum
from the sentence: dduhhnn0e qqo whrr pp0onqqum llerhhs !

16) qqiimii
from the sentence: sec0ndlly ,, ba0beiis wriitte qqiimii rubbiishh ttesttiie llerhhs !
(don't tell me they actually have branded rubbish!)

17) ttiishh
from the sentence: hhe ttiishh BO STEADY KIA ..

18) sh0o c0nffusedd
from the sentence: hhaii wo , sh0o c0nffusedd ssiia ..
(I think we're the ones who are confused here)

19) qqerlls
from the sentence: dduhhnn0e yyiies ,, hhiis ttesttiie all ffrm qqerlls ?

20) anniihw, bb0iiiff
from the sentence: att lleastt iie nnabrr anniihw qqo add bb0iiiff ll0rrhhs !

21) mastt
from the sentence: nnbbm ,, cll0se one eye , oppen one eyye ?
or mastt as well ,,, cll0se 2 eyyes ?
(At this point i rather close both eyes and not see her horrible work of slaughtering English.)

22) HONG,
from the sentences:
dduhhn0e yyiies qq0rrtt ssum1 kkeep on HONG qqerlls llerhhs !
nndd hh0rrhs ,, iie nnabrr HONG b0iiff ll0rrhhs ..
hhaas ..
hhaiiyo !
yyews hh0nqq ,, iie osh0o hh0nqq ll0rrhhs ..
HONGSTER HONGSTER FCUK OFF ~~~~
(She likes to use the almighty HONG word?)

23) qqudd
from the sentence: tthx ffers ttreattiinqq mmeaiis sh0o qqudd ..

24) qqanlla0qq0nqq ,, llubbveyyews
from the sentence: ddamn sswiitt llerhhs ! qqanlla0qq0nqq ,, llubbveyyews llarrhhs !!

25) shh0ott
from the sentence: hhonqqkkan kkiia ,, shh0ott outt all uure nname ...
(ooh sounds like she's pissed!)

26) dduhh, ddiidiisiiaosiiao
from the sentence: dduhh cum m0ii bbllooqq ddiidiisiiaosiiao ...
(DUH cum my blog didididididisiaosiaosiao???)

27) dduo ddiiao
from the sentence: dduhh HUMJI ,,, hhiidde behhiindd e screen actt dduo ddiiao ..
(GREAT. Now i can't even understand the dialact she uses!)

28) SHOT OUT ALL UR NAME ,, HUMJI KIA
(We found this really funny. How can we SHOT out all our names? Is there a gun that shoots names? Must be an Ah Lian product.)

Here's something to laugh about!
Quoted from her post on :Monday, December 11, 2006

meaiis jjastt ccum bbackk ffr0m qqenttiinqq ...
ermms ,,, wiibb m0ii cousiin ..
wentt tthr PLAY PLAY PLAY , EAT EAT EAT ...
(And THAT'S how you get FAT.)

29) beriie, llatte
from the sentence: dden ppllae ttiill beriie beriie llatte ...
(beriie? Berry? llatte...Latte?Oh great. Now they insult caffine!)

30) ffllyyiingg c0astter
from the sentence: e ffllyyiingg c0astter was SHIOK
(Something that flies along the coast? o_O)

31) tthriilliinqq
from the sentence: m0re tthriilliinqq iib yyews scrream ..

----
PAUSE! I find her quite flirty you know.
"dden iie chhatt chhatt wiibb hhiim..
WA!HE FROM KL ...
iibb hhe n0rtt ffr0m KL , ffrm siinqqapp0re ,, we can bii ffriiens ll0rhhs ..
dden afftt ttadd ..."
So if the guy wasn't from KL then you could be friends? You only make friends with Singaporeans? YOU RACIST. I guess she's never heard of International Friendship Day. That's not all. Read what she posted on the same post:
"iie nabrr ssaw hhiim aqqaiin ..
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT ?
MAYBE !!!
STILL THNKING ABOUT HIS SWEET FACE ..
BUDDEN ,, WE CAN NEVER MEET AGAIN ..
SOBSOB ..
MISS YOU ALWAYS .."
Riggght. I bet you she's already forgotten him. Throughout her posts she details on how cute and sweet the boy from KL was, and how pissed she was when "q0rtt 1 FUKING FAT ASS qqo siitt hhiis pplace .." on the "SPACESHOT". Yep. Talk about a change of heart.



Ok this is the end for this post. I'm soooo not going to bother going through ALL her posts. These are the posts featured on her blog and not archives. (Basically i couldn't be bothered to click and read her archives.)

SO! Dear readers, if you did manage to translate her Ah Lian Code, do leave a comment for easy trackback! (Tags are being spammed away)

And one more thing, don't go and spam Ms/Mrs/Mdm eviilld0lliie's blog. It's not nice. You wouldn't like to have rayner wanting to spar with you at some basketball court would you? Of course, we can't stop you but we do advise you not to spam. Who knows? They might ban you from their blogs or tagboards! Wouldn't that be sad. =(

Do help us out here! =)
-aal#2

Once again, we bring yet another ah lian to the limelight. This lian is so outstanding in her own way i don't even know where to begin! =)

Oh well. Let's start off with her Friendster profile.

(Aal-Hint: If you want to find a Lian profile on Friendster, all you have to do is type "xiiao" in the search box)

Her name is..xiiaO viiennxy (modified)
(Gosh it burns ><)


Female, 22, In a Relationship
Interested In: Friends
Member Since: Oct 2006
Location: Singapore
Last Login: 24 hours
xiiaO viiennx's URL:
http://www.friendster.com/33398XXX (last 3 digits changed)
"-rebbellii0us -smokker #520@[ muiihh bbell0vedd 0nes ]@520# **HAZEl la0g0ng**SHIHUIX la0po**JOANNE la0po**EUGENE..."
(Jeeze girl! What is with the signs? ooh! Affairs eh??^^)


More About xiiaO viiennxy

Schools(Other):
jjaiill">hhiillggr0ve sec -> jjaiill, ( a ppllace whhrr wiie nna0 fann tiiann )
(If hillgrove is jail, i wonder what Changi prison is.)

Occupation:
studdennt ,,
(Aren't you in jail? Why are you still studying?)

Hobbies and Interests:
t0kkiing tw0ohh muiihh lla0g0nqq 0n f0rne, sm0kkiing, ( viicer0yy menthh0ll )
(Do you even KNOW what hobbies and interests are?! You must be a retard.)

Favorite Books:
0nii nnerdds nneedd dhhat, ddeefiiniitelly nn0rtt myyiie !
(Again, why are you a STUDENT? I hope you fail and retain bookless-girl! =D)

Favorite Movies:
iie nn0rtt t0oppiidd t0o, bbllahhx, bbllahhx
(Someone lend me the DVD: "bbllahhx"? Sounds Lian-ish. Wait. She probably made it herself. Then again because she never reads books, that's why it's called "bbllahhx")

Favorite Music:
llurves muiihh lla0g0nqq siing dde s0ngs
(Are you sure you know what is music?)

Favorite TV Shows:
hha0 kkann dde ll0rhhs
(Mmm...I saw that Drama series before! It was on the Retard Channel! I didn't sign up after watching the free preview.)

Zodiac Sign:
Sagittarius


#520@[ muiihh bbell0vedd 0nes ]@520#



**HAZEl la0g0ng**SHIHUIX la0po**JOANNE la0po**EUGENE la0g0ng**ADRIAN ganla0g0ng**BRYAN 1314**PINGHUI ganla0g0ng**XIAOKID ganla0g0ng**yanmiing ganla0g0ng**RAYMOND KOR KOR**alviin k0r**bernard k0r**ah lim k0r**CHIN SHEN k0r**GLENN k0r**guang weii k0r**guan huii k0r**IVAN k0r**jasper k0r**ruii r0ng k0r**ren jiie k0r**shudong k0r**s0ng wee k0r**taiizii k0r**wiilliie k0r**xiian feng**YINWEI KE AI YOU DA FANG DE KOR KOR**eilleen jiie**li meii jie**peiting jiie**SHIRLEY JIIE**ziiyya jiie**JIALE mariie**STACEY marmiie**SUZHENN marmiie**yuanyiin marmiie**yuzhuang AIAI**angeliia ba0buiie**litiing ba0buiie**ev0ne ba0buiie**genevive dar**linlin dar**charmaiine er zii**xiiuling meii**z0e meii**bernerd didi**zaw0o didi**teckkwee piigiiex

(All i see is LAOGONG LAOPO LAOGONG LAOPO....jeeze! Her poor boyfriend! Doesn't he know about all these, *gasps* AFFAIRS? o_O he must be a Retard too!)

- eugene lla0g0nqq 1314 -

Who I Want to Meet:

yy0uu nn0rhhs ,, muahhahhahhahhahhahhas,,
(Hell no. I never want to meet euux!)

- smokkiieviiennyiie@hotmail.com - (modified)
iin friienddster ,,

- toothpiick93142hotmail.com - (modified)
iin msn ,,

add mmyyyiie w0rx !! ,,
(Who WOULD DO THAT!?)

Myspace Codes: MyNiceSpace.com

wiithh0ut uuiie , iim jushh nn0thhiingg
(Isn't that good? Go crawl under a rock and be NOTHING then!)

-------------------------

*Shudders* Let's...MOVE ON....to her...Photos.




Caption: "myyiie nn j0anne lla0po ,,"

A-HAH! See? An AFFAIR. You know what? I spell "ME" as M-E! =D

ME: 2 letters
MYYIIE: 6 letters

Hello? If you're trying to make your composition seem longer, it's not working.

Caption: "refllectii0n 0fbb us ,,"

Uh, sorry but unlike you we aren't RETARDS. We KNOW what a reflection is. And FYI, reflections don't bite, neither do bites reflect. =D



Caption: "w0rkkiing ,, j0anne lla0po nn myyiie ,,"

Can i burst out laughing? Because if you want people to think that you're working as models that I'M SORRY. No one is going to believe you because we can actually SEE a model's face, AND the design of the clothes she wears.

Ps: AFFAIR!





Caption: "w0rkkiing ,, hhazell lla0g0ng nn myyiie ,,"


I really pity her boyfriend. (Ok maybe not so) Imagine having a girlfriend who has, not ONE, but TWO lao-somethings! Wait. If one is her LaoPo, and the other is her LaoGong....

What is she? o_O"

Caption: "zii yya jjiie nn myyiie ,,"

I'm sorry i can't really tell who is who when your freaky fringe covers more than half your ugly face =D



-no caption-

Girl. You are wasting space on Friendster. Tell me why Retards like you take photos that aren't clear and place them up. Would you like me to call you KAWAII in that photo? Hmm?





-No Caption-

Oh maybe you're trying to hide that pimple on your cheek! Yeah see? A little to the right on your nose! (The picture's right) YEAH that's it! That must the pimple you're so desperately trying to hide but not suceeding? =D


















Caption: "ffuckk 0ff ,, ppl whhuu stepp 0ne ppaii kkiia ,,"


Aww are you upset that we revealed your pimple? So upset that you distort your image and flip it upside-down hmmm? It seems you're so upset, that you're talking in some weird and strange sentence structure. Don't be upset.....Pimple Girl. =)



-No Caption-

Still upset? No darling you can't hang yourself by taking photos upside down! You need a rope.



-No Caption-

How does she do it? How does she "hang upside down" and still not have a single hair dropping down? Must be the freaky strong wax/gel she uses on her freaky hair to cover that pimple.




Caption: "# muiihh bba0bbuiie lla0g0nqq # siimpplly llurves hhiim ,,"

If you love him, WHY HAVE AFFAIRS?! Tsk. Wait. Isn't that Hazel your LaoGong? COULD IT BE? They are the same person? GASP. =O



Caption: "hhallf a centuryy ag0 "


Uh, how OLD are you? Half a century ago?? Goodness gracious me!
Visibility of face: 20%. Hey you're doing pretty well trying to hide that pimple! =D

















Caption: "0ur siister dde addiicts <3333> "

Your sister is an addict? JEEZE! Come on girl you want the whole world to know you smoke? GO ON! Let the principal see it and expell you from school. It'll be a better "jail" then. =D

Moral of the Lian Profile: Smoking makes pimples appear and increases Retard-ness/ Stupidity rate.

Amazingly, it's not raining.

For all those living in Singapore, you would have obviously known about the never-ending rain for the past few days. Yesterday, it rained for 24 hours.

So what did the ah lians do to survive?

Did they... Stay home and stare at their computers, updating and twiti-fying(a word i came up with :D) their Friendster and blogs? Decorating them with pinkish freak stuff and annoying songs with bling all over their webpage?

Did they hog the phone as their only form of keeping in touch with the outside world? Chatting for 24hours must be exhausting for their poor lao gongs. They must be either a hell of a tolerant guy OR an automated listening machine.

Or maybe, the Lians braved the storms and floods! Wading in the water with their cutsey pink umbrella over their freakishly rebonded hair!

Nah. They aren't that smart. They would have waited till the sun came out, walked out into the streets of Bugis and get caught in the rain so that they could complain about the "toopiid raiin".


Oh well. I wouldn't really worry about them too much. Christmas is coming!

Dear Santa,

I had been a very good girl this year. Me and the other aalteam members have been trashing and flaming the insolent beings who contaminate the Earth and destroy English. I have only one wish this Christmas and that is to wipe out the entire population of Lians and Bengs or at least isolate them on some unidentified island in the bermuda triangle. You can fill their stockings with coal too! :D

-aal#2

Survival Tips

HOW TO SURVIVE AROUND A TWIT
brought to you by The AALteam.


SAFETY TIPS:

• Tip#1: If you see a group of Lians and Bengs, don't look at them. Two reasons.

1. They enjoy beating people who look at them. It's like a taboo.
2. We at AAL don't want you people corrupting your eyes from looking at them. It's too horrible. We care for our reader's eyesight. (=

• Tip#2: Don't bother talking about them out loud. Lians and Bengs have very BIG and protective family members who just happen not to be blood-related.
• Tip#3: If you DID insult a Lian or Beng, you better call the mafia or the police to pre-inform them about a few stalkers(since lians and bengs are cowards at heart and need to travel in a group when on a mission to 'settle some humji') and maybe an AMBUSH.
• Tip#4: Do remember to not stay near an Ah Lian. The screechy act-cute voice is so cute, even window panes give shattering applause at the sound of their voices.
• Tip#5: Don't bother arguing pointless things with them. (eg: BOYS, POLITICS.) It's a waste of brain cells. Unlike Lians, we actually CARE about our IQ level.

AVOIDING TIPS:

You see a Lian approaching and you just want to get away. How do you do it?

• Tip#6: Make a U-turn and run for it.
• Tip#7: Scream and point at the lian while yelling ALIEN!!! Before making a mad dash for your life. (not reccomended)
• Tip#8: Whip out your phone and talk to Barney while walking past the lian.
• Tip#9: Start running towards the Lian while yelling "LATE LATE LATE" and stop running once you passed her for let's say...50 meters?
• Tip#10: Be a emo. Start crying or drama crying when the Lian faces you. (You can say her face scares you!)
• Tip#11: Ignorance is bliss. Pretend you didn't see her. (Though it's hard, with Ms Lian in all her pinkish-ness glory)
• Tip#12: If you couldn't avoid her, then play dumb. Daydream about HAPPY stuff as the Lian talks, occasionally nodding. Don't look her in the eye. You can stare at her ear and play COUNT THE PEIRCINGS.
• Tip#13: Yell to an imaginary friend behind her back and walk at a fast pace to Mr Imaginary. (Only works in crowded places)

DRESSING TIPS:

• Tip#14: One word. Ignore.
• Tip#15: Run towards the lian and throw a huge cloth over her, covering up all the excessive exposed and unwanted areas. (IT BURNS MY EYES)
• Tip#16: Spill black paint on their clothes by accident if you can't take the pinky-ness.
• Tip#17: Stare at them, then go into a series of seizures, writhing in pain on the floor. Best done with other people.

LANGUAGE TIPS:

• Tip#18: If you can't take it, there's always the option of AVIODING. =)
• Tip#19: Interrupt the Lian and ask: "What? What did you say? I'm sorry i don't understand. Could you repeat that?" repeat 5 times. (after each time the Lian repeats)
• Tip#20: If she writes/smses you in TWIT, reply saying: "WHAT? What was that?"
• Tip#21: Don't bother talking to the ah lian in the first place.

Last tip of this post: If you're trapped in a room with an Ah Lian with no means of communication, and she starts to advance on you to get aqquainted, go kill yourself. It's not worth the torture of being trapped in a room with an ah lian in pink, speaking twit, scribbling twit words with her lipstick on the walls or listening to her TALK.

Of course if you took the last tip seriously, you must have talked to a Lian before or frequently.





















Ah Lians cackle like witches don't they? Especially in groups.

Annoying

Imagine yourself blog hopping, listening to your favourite song. You click on a link and

MUSIC BLASTS INTO YOUR EAR, totally ruining your mood and causing you to curse and swear.

It isn't so bad if the music is GOOD, but sadly, this occurs mostly in ah lian blogs. Annoying. That's what they specialize in anyway.

Let's take for example Tokyo Drift, the Fast and the Furious. When i first heard it, i was thinking, hey this song isn't so bad. It has a nice introduction!

Yeah right. For about 10 seconds.

The voice that followed it totally disgusted me. An act cute voice sounding totally like a twit. This blogger started swearing when she heard "furious" pronounced as "fyuwiious" and "wonder" and "wanda". DAMN is she retarded or is the song writer mentally challenged?! (then again, real Japanese people can't pronounce "R")

It wasn't too bad with the rapping, but it sounded so freaking racist when there was a part with a bangla sounded person saying some lame shit.


In fact, here are the lyrics. See if you can make sense of them.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tokyo Drift- Fast and Furious

I wonder if you know

How they live in Tokyo

If you see me then you mean it

Then you know you have to go

Fast and furious (Drift, Drift, Drift)

Fast and furious (Drift, Drift, Drift)

(Repeat)

(Japanese verse)

Rasha ii, omachito sama

kenso mamiro konoma chinoenso dama

tamama ichii do itsu eoi de

sikayju miryu suruhudoni ko kana

Japan, Ichiban

Jump around sawchirono deban

Teriyaki Boyz in the place to be

he said intyaro kai in VIP

many many diamonds danglin

Bag full of money we stranglin

Hate me, fry me, bake me, try me

All the above cuz you can't get in

I don't want no puro buremu

Because muy professional

Make you, shake you, ketsu (Thank you!)

Haters take it personal

(Japanese verse)

like kakanada tai tets o now

drop it on lets go nowna nachima mai nimits o

lets not chiki chima over

wets go nets gotsuhilohilo over every color

esgo esgol

ju waktu chunai niikro

new waksu itsukunai pingpoi

(Chorus)

I wonder if you know

How they live in Tokyo

If you see me then you mean it

Then you know you have to go

Fast and furious (Drift, Drift, Drift)

Fast and furious (Drift, Drift, Drift)

(Japanese verse)

HI. Wakashteruya

Boyz. ateyuma kitobas

noise. manshij kitemas indaghe

tow banow gazmo windemas

beyshiku wasupplies

de. majmanchika abunai

te. ninjehu kenjahu

dakido geisha

all on the rocks say

karanosha

Should see me in the parking lot

7-11 is the spot

Fights with wings and shiny things

And lions, tigers, bears, Oh my ride

We're furious and fast

Super sonic like JJ Phat

An' we rock cuz the wheels are fly

Can't be doubt with a baseball bat

(Japanese verse)

like kakaru a

kiyo koto sa

matata in dey soki sayk yo

ingosipta shito fokusai

tekimatzailo kwanzai

fola kwanza

fara daka bumotosto

dojidas score four points

from far east coast to

dosi sai

watashi no kansito

(Chorus)

I wonder if you know

How they live in Tokyo

If you see me then you mean it

Then you know you have to go

Fast and furious (Drift, Drift, Drift)

Fast and furious (Drift, Drift, Drift)

(Japanese verse)

ya, ichipa mayni chito kitong kitas

hito aylam tobi tobida

mueruyo shito bochi bochi na

kuma nigi dasusu kochi kochi eh

hito a puro do resow

machu subetenu rekong

mechakari mundantesha

fu guchaw chan

fast an furious

It's gotta be the shoes

Gotta be the furs

That's why ladies choose me

All up in the news

Cuz we so cute

That's why we so huge

Harajuku girls know how i feel

They respect i keeps it real

Not a Chinaman cuz I ain't from China man

I am Japan man

(Girls Talking)

You see him come and go out of the black Benz SLR.

I wonder where he get that kind of money?

Don't worry about it.

Lets Go

(Chorus)

I wonder if you knowHow they live in Tokyo

If you see me then you mean it

Then you know you have to go

Fast and furious (Drift, Drift, Drift)

Fast and furious (Drift, Drift, Drift)

CONTRADICITNG

Racist sounding

Ah-Lian Sounding

WTF?!

I am not Japanese, so i would not know what the lyrics mean. Even so, if you can make out whatever this song is saying, do inform us via email. No offense to the Japs. =)

Overall Rating of song: 2.5/10

To start off, there is no CORRECT definition of an Ah Lian.

AAL's definition of Ah Lian may be different than compared to other sites, such as MOT or TTP.

But anyway, here is our definition of an Ah Lian:

An Ah Lian is a highly dangerous species, who enjoys attracting attention to herself and behaving like a poser.

To further elaborate, let us explain in detail.

POSERS

• Ah Lians love to stike dumb poses. Read on to find out.
• They enjoy imitating another person. For example, they like to portray an image of a meek girl to the guy they want to haunt, yet become all gangster-like when they 'deal with humji'
• They also like to act like they know everything. Eg: to spammers: "iiE knOw whO euu arE!"
• Posers. HAH.
  
  Attracting Attention
  
  The typical Ah Lian enjoys attention. LOTS of attention.
  The Ah Lian may use tactics ranging from actions, to looks, to behaviour.
  Here are the major ways on how ah lians attract attention.
  
  #1) Spot the piercings!: Can you count the number of BLING on her ear/nose/wherever?
  
• 2 piercings on ONE ear means that they are ok OR slightly ah lian
• 3-6 piercings on ONE ear means HELL YEAH they are ah lian. Or Punk. (But you can tell if a person is punk.)
• Piercing the nose/tongue is also considered. Gross, but that's how they attract attention see? They parade around, with something SHINING away on their NOSE. And when people pass by, they'll STARE at her nose.

Hmm. I wonder what will happen when the ah lian gets a pimple on her nose. Or when her ear gets infected. Just think: 6piercings on one ear. Ouch.


#2) Is My Hair MESSY?: I don't like messy hair. So i'll make it straight LOR.

• While many girls may have rebonded their hair, the rebonded look is still a trademark for ah lians. Do not fear if you are not an ah lian, but have rebonded hair. Be worried if you have more than 2 piercings on each ear. Or on your NOSE.
• Ah Lians enjoy rebonded hair. They think it's CUTE and COOL. They enjoy straightening their already straight hair and then complaining that it's not straight. Come on. I'll laugh when they start to bald or when they destroy and damage their precious hair with all that straightening.
• So to the previous point, if you see a girl with extremely straightened hair, you know she's an ah lian with hair issues. (then again, which lian DOESN'T?)
• ANOTHER MAJOR CLUE! The FRINGE.
• People usually like to keep their fringes up and away from their eye so that they can SEE and not bump into objects. Ah Lians think differently.
• Ah Lians have long, STRAIGHT, fringes that fall all over their faces. It either covers one eye, both eyes, or 3/4 of the face. (Actually it's better coz we won't have to see their faces)
• You see, fringes attract attention. Won't you be shocked to see a girl looking like a potianak walking down the street?
• Another reason to their fringes is that the hair in front of their eyes, block their sight. This gives them the perfect excuse to bump into things or mistake objects, so they can justify themselves and claim the name of: BLUR QUEEN/SOTONG/PRINCESS/etc.
• Last reason i can think of: Are the fringes there to hide pimples on their foreheads?

Hairstyles do make a difference. I mean, if a guy with big poofy hair (like the Afro style) walks down the street, you would stare at his big hair. In the same way, people stare at Ah Lians with unnaturally straight hair, either let down of tied up stupidly, with matching fringes that leave people to wonder how they pass their eye exams.

#3) Behaviour: May or may Not be obvious.

How to see if she's an ah lian via behaviour:

• When going out, there must ALWAYS be at least an accomplice. MUST be ah lian girls.
• They get clingy to each other.
• Sudden bursts of giggling. The most annoying form of attention seeking. Bursts of giggling make people stare at them. Which is what they want.
• They enjoy making fun of people...Loudly. For example, they see a handsome guy. Either one or both will whistle at him/make a kissing sound/shout OI or something else at him/any verbal attempt to get his attention.
• Just looking at them makes one feel very disturbed.

#4) Other ways of attracting attention: Eg, dressing/walking styles

Just like the great attention seekers they are, they have to DRESS right for it.

• Rule #1 in Ah Lian dressing: MUST. HAVE. PINK!
• Rule #2: MUST have a COOL bag. Even if it doesn't match the outfit.
• Rule #3: Skirt cannot be more than 10 fingers above the knee
• Rule #4: If you(the ah lian) are attached, whine at your poor boyfriend to get a ring so you can flaunt it.
• Rule#5: CONTACTS. If no contacts, either wear the 'emo' specs or the frameless ones.
• Rule#6: Clothes MUST be BRANDED. Famous brands: PMK, etc etc etc
• Rule#7: Let your STRAIGHT hair down
• Rule#8: COOL, BRANDED sneakers/shoes are always IN. So are CUTE flats.
• Rule#9: Mascara is GOOD. (Oh yeah. Apply it so thick that you look like a panda. Sorry to insult the pandas.)

Plus a lot of other rules which i can't be bothered to type out, as it bores and disgusts me when the images is portrayed in my mind. -shudders-

Here's an interesting one! WALKING STYLES.

Ah lians have lots of walking styles. One of the MOST disturbing one i find, is when an act-cute ah lians sticks her thighs together and runs with her arms stuck to her chest. Seriously. It shocked me when i saw an ah lian schoolmate running towards me in that manner. (i freaked and ran off actually)

What is her problem anyway? Did she superglue her thighs together due to the fact that her itsy-bitsy skirt was too tight? Or was it a failed attempt to have slimmer thighs. Or just to attract attention? She was running like a retard.

Jeeze. Other ah lians may walk with a hunchback. I have no idea why, but i'm guessing they try to make themselves look small and weak and CUTE. God help me I am going to puke.

#5) INTERNET/SMS DISPLAY: Ooh my favourite.

• Typing:

You should all know by now, that ah lians LOVE to tyYp3 LiiK3 diiShX.

That's a BULLSEYE way of seeing if a girl is an ah lians.
After all...
You see the Lang,
You know she's Lian.

So whenever you get an sms with disturbing typing or come across a blog or webpage with words that seem to be from another planet, you know she's Lian.

• the PHOTO and the POSE

Lians love taking photos. I must say they have SOME IT skills, as they love taking photos in well, DIFFERENT angles and love to Photoshop their photos.

See, Ah Lians take all these disturbing photos and post it up for the whole world to see and be amazed at their lack of creativity. For one, they have a limited number of poses.

• Pose #1: The trademark. Fringe covering 1/2 the face, tilt your head down and look up at the camera above your head to get the "wide-eyed-innocent-look"
• Pose#2: Same thing, but with the tongue sticking out.
• Pose#3: Stupid hand gestures. Such as the Victory sign pressed against the cheek, trying to make it seem like the lian has dimples.
  

There are many other poses, but I shall not waste my time on them, neither will I explain it so that you have to suffer while imagining it.

OH! Yes. How can i forget the PHOTOSHOP. My my i'm getting forgetful.

The wonders of Photoshop. Where the Lian can touch up all the pimples and blemishes, whiten their teeth, add sparkles galore and adjust colours like black-and-white or total brown!

The best is...the CAPTIONS. Many many captions, such as:

• bAobeii pwiiNc3sS
• ugliie miie
• Shoo ugliiex
• kawaii-maHx?
• saD sAd miiE
• xiiAo zHu ZhU
• (insert other stupidly retarded names)

Ahh yes. Photoshop and captions. Especially hilarious when they call themselves ugly, post it on the blog, and curse and swear at the people who agree with the caption.

May i add the stupidity of them all when they swear and hurl vulgarities to spammers at their blog, who leave no name or rather passerby or anonymous, to 'dunch be a humjii' and state their name, yet come to anti-twit blogs like AAL, MOT and TTP to scold under fake names or anonymous. How ironic is that?


I do hope this is enough for those who requested about ah lians. If there is more you would like to know, you can always tell us via our tagboard or fanmail us. Have A Nice Day!

-aal#2

The Daily Life of an Ah Lian.

(Age: 11-16)

SCHOOL DAYS

• Wake up
• Princess Shower
• Stand in front of the mirror combing unnaturally straight hair
• 15mins to tie hair/attach thousands of useless accessories (for Lians with long hair)
• 10mins to comb their fringes in front of their eyes
• 5 mins to clip up their fringes for easy let down
• 5mins to wear school U
• 5mins to adjust school Uniform (rubber band around waist/hairclip/folding of skirt)
• 10mins to get out of house(Including folding of socks, blah blah blah)
• XXmins to get to school
• XXmins to slowly strut to class
• 0.01mins to start yapping when reach class
• 0.03mins to start cursing and swearing in a "kawaii" voice

• Sleep in class
• hurl insults at classmates
• chit chat and sms in class
• Sleep in class
• Go on and on about her lastest HUSBAND aka LAOGONG
• Play nonsensical games in class
• Try to torture classmates by Singing

The list goes on.

• After school, whip out handphones ASAP
• Sms or calls laopo/jiejie/meimei/korkor/didi/laogong/uncle's daughter's friend's cousin's sister's newphew's uncle/ etc etc etc...
• Or stare at the handphone screen for show
• Or irritate people by their smsing

• Go to the shopping centres, or Bugis.
• Complain about their hair
• Walk around complaining that they're fat
• Eating food that'll make them fat
• Annoying and freaking people out by their giggling outbursts
• Freaking people out with the pontianak look

• Go home late
• Still smsing
• curse and swear at people
• curse and swear at life
• May curse and swear at parents
• or siblings
• Get all EMO
• complain on the phone
• talk and talk and talk...
• And sleep.
• and sleep.
• deeming themselves as xiiaozhuuzhuu

There are more, but i feel too disgusted to type. It kills my poor IQ.

This is what we THINK they do, after much pondering and discussion.

So if we're wrong, go ahead and flame.

If we're right, you can still flame,

BUT

Dear Ah Lians,

Please stop contradicting yourself. If people go to your blog and spam under anonymous, and you start throwing vulgarities at them for being a "humji" by not revealing their names, do leave your name when you tag, so as to prevent yourself from being humiliated by the sheer lack of common sense.

(i think you'll read this. Coz it's PURPLE in colour.)

Have a Nice Day! :)

Just Another Random Post

Now there are a alot of things in this hell of a world we live in that makes us really pissed off, and we all know what are the things that pisses us off like ah lians(duh),work (be honest how many of you like to do work) and the list just goes on and on...so in order not to go mad and insane we don't bottle up these anger and just let it out on something right? For some people it'll be taking it out on a sport or just yelling right in the damned pillow,for others it would be making other people feel worst then them...

If i said that as long as ah lians and their ''friends'' are all sad,we'll be happy some of you will say ''omg! you guys are sadist!'' or ''for F(#!s sake you guys are blah blah blah blah and all that'' now we wouldn't say its not true but you see lets take an example that happened a few days ago..

There was this ah lian girl right... who has this lovely little blog which she thinks no one can read it... so guess what she wrote? anyone? try ''i smoke everyday and its so cool'' and all the other shit that would make people vomit as they read down,now somehow her teacher found out about it(Surprise Surprise eh) and well she's right in a whole load of trouble now! So after reading that short little incident some of you are probably going ''Yeah! she deserved it! Haha!'' or some of you would probably go ''Hey! lay back man your going too far!''

Well i'm just posting today to say if your pissed at something why not take it out on some lians? i'm sure it'll feel good takes a whole load of your mind too and furthermore yes they all deserve it and you know it... just look at them they think they owned the whole damn place and they walk around and speak as loud as they can thinking we all love their awful voice... have you heard an ah lian sing? trust me you don't want to it's so bad you'll cry,well there are plenty more of what they do that makes us pissed like their rudeness,being all irritating and their bitchy attitude are also few things that makes us pissed as some of you might agree.

So go out there and have some fun taking out your anger on the lians i'm sure they'll be happy enough to call their friends and who knows you can kill 2 birds with 1 stone if you get what i mean... but hey i don't really think this is counted as bullying the ah lians now right? since whose the one that likes to bully? That's right ah lians don't really change out of it and of course they wouldn't because their in denial about themselves but don't get me wrong or anything i'm not asking you guys to beat them up and film it and post it on the net for the whole world to see like they do,but just use words... words would hurt more inside then outside plus it's great to see them speechless after they figured out all their vulgarities are useless...and if your really pissed off go on an ah lian spree you'll find it enjoyable indeed!

Well that's it for today...
Later guys and girls!,(ps. we still hate ah lians and you do too! hahah)

Scary Encounters: Butches

Hello People! aal#2 here.

Recently i've been hearing stuff that Stomp has a thread on ah lians! Oooh. This is going NATIONWIDE!!! Fascinating isn't it? Well, i'll be sure to post the link once i find it.

We have a request by huh! On butches! We're not going to go in-depth about that for now, as some of us do have exams coming. (It's the End Of Years. DUH)

But we DO have a nice life experiences to share, and those who have similar experiences can always leave a comment or email us at Anti-Ah-Lians@hotmail.com

------

There's this girl in my class. Let's call her...X. Right. Now back then i was friends with X. I sat next to her in my mother tongue class and i found out that she's quite...weird. Now i wasn't very close to her, and she was alway being extremely tomboy-ish. Being at the young teens stage, i brushed it off.

Damn i thought it to be a small matter when we ended up in the same class the following year. She and i were plain friends. I had my best mates and she, well, didn't really have many. Was talking to a friend(A) back then, and somehow, X popped up as a topic.

People complained of X being so bossy that when A tried to organize a chalet, X somehow barged in and took complete charge, bossed everyone around such that about 5 people actually turned up. And they had hell. X was telling them to go to sleep and giving them wake up calls. -.-"

And then i heard it. People said that X was a butch! (Yay! Finally i get to the point.) Rumours flew around, that X had a crush on another girl, (let's call her P). I tell you my views on X changed and my suspicions were greatly heightened.

A fellow schoolmate(FS) and i shared the same views, and we started to notice her actions. Not only does X have a extreme tomboy-ish haircut complete with wax haistyle, and a lot of male-related intersts and hobbies, FS and i entered a dangerous mission.

We were kind of friends with her and slowly, X started to get close to FS and I. That was the freakiest period of my life i swear. X started having lunch with us and we found ourselves being STARED at in class by X. FS and I couldn't take it and started to drift away form her (who wouldn't!?)

X didn't really notice but kept on staring at us. Damn it's freaky. Oh, did i mention that X was also very extra over protective of the female species and kept trying to keep in contact physically by 'punching' us?

Not to mention if you were SICK. What happened was that FS was out with the flu for merely two days, and said once she came online:
X: Why you never come school??
FS: i was sick. DUH.
X: Oh.
X: you feeling better marhx??
X: ok or not???
X: must drink a lot of water leh
X: got rest enough??
FS: Erm. Yeah i'm feeling better.
X: you got study or not???
FS: I was SICK.
X: got take medication???
X: must take care ok!
X: hurry up and cum back to sch!

Then FS made up an excuse and blocked her.

Indeed it was a freaky period. I shall not go into what happened when FS actually returned to school. Now that i remember this, i am too freaked out to continue. (as X was haunting me on where FS was during her period of absence)


AALteam shall investigate the totally screwed up minds of butches with kawaii girlfriends!
Lesbianism is just wrong.
Readers, feel free to express your views on butches/lesbians/etc.
We shall continue this post another day.

Till then, Cheers!

coNfeSsiiOns oF a TwiiTx!

Yayyee!! sh0ox cO0oL wOrXx!! ii amX a tWiit!! mAybEe euux alL dUncHhx knOwxX dArT ii aM aa tWiit, shoo ii muZ tEll euU alL!!

aCtuAllY iit's nOrtX dArt ii am jeAloUs dart EUUX aLl aLwaYx liiKe tuhh sPamm miiE bLoGx waNxx...

iit's jux cOz ii dunCh habb aniiTiinG beTteR tuhh saee dartx whiiee wee tWiitS wiiLL carll uP ouRx gaaN dii aNnd jiie aNnd meii aNnd korr...dEnn wEe wiilL haBb loRtx aNnd loRtx orrb baCkuP worXx! CoZz deyy wiiLl habb betteRx thiinGx tuhh saee aNnd wee TwiiTs carn foLlOw derMx and geett piittiieed By DerMx mAahxx...SmArtx RiigHtxx??

ooh yaYe!! ii thiink dErH waY ii typpe iis shoo KaWaii!! deRh wayy miiee typpe iish shoo berii derhx kAwaii riightx!

aiiyahh miie knOw euux all Are JeaLoux orbb derh wAy ii tYpe riigHtx! miie aLsoo knOw euuxx aLl aree berii jEalouX orbb miie...coz ii am shoo derhX kaWaii-neHx!! See ii shoooo smaRt! ii knOw jApanexe!! kweell horr!!

dunchh saee ii dunn harBx goOd vOcaab HorX!! miie knOw shooo mAny woRdx! liike: HUMJI aand FARK aanD CHEEBAII aanD a lOrtX a lOrtX orbb othErr woRdx worrX!! shoo dunch sAee ii dunch knOw aniitiinG worx!!

nOw ii wiiL shhoow euuX miie pweetii facee worx!
dunCh get jEAlouS orb miie galx!
annD guyx dunCh fall iin lurbbe wiith miee CoZ ii allreaDy LuRbbE miiE DaRdArh ferr yii beii zhii!! bleaAhhxX!
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sEe ii shOo kaWaii!! ii berrii guAii warnn lehhx!!
miiE goRt tiiE uP haiiR deRhx!!



















hEehEexx!! see miiee shoo smaRtx!! miie cann usee photoshopp tuhh makke niice niice!! miie takKe pHoto alSo shoo sMartx! CarN seE miiee ugLii fAcee!!














hmMxx miie iish shoo kAwaii-neHx...euu alL duNch bee shoo envii miiee worX!! loLx!

DaRDaR LaOgoNg ii *HEARTX HEARTX* EUUX!!
LURBBE euu yii beii zhii!!! MuAcKiiEx!
miiE cArnnOt foRgetX ouRr ONE wEek aniiVasaRy woRx!! ii lurrbee euuuxx!!!!

teeeX-heex-heex ((:

MISSING PHOTOS....FOUND!

The L-FiiLeZ, Episode ONE

*the following post has been edited. Pictures have been removed as requested by some POLITE bloggers. Don't be disappointed! The photos may have caused your lunch/dinner to be wasted anyway.*

Hello and welcome to AALteam's very own entertainment show, the L-FiiLeZ! Starting off with 10 contestants, YOU, the audience, get the chance to vote for the most vile- i mean, most KAWAII ah lian! Vote for the ONE you think, gives you the most reaction! Be it love at first sight, OMFG-she's-hot, puke-tastic or just plain faggoty. Polls are open until the 26th of August 2006!

To vote, click on COMMENT and type in Contestant #__, contestant's name, and if you want to, leave other comments.

So without further adieu, let's all give a big hand to our *ahem* 10 lovely contestants...

First, let us welcome...

Contestant Number 1!

#1: 'xiiaoDEVIIL- !!!
'xiiaoDEVIIL- has maaanny siblings!
She is a REBEL, has STYLE and an ATTITUDE!
Don't punk with her coz she has 7 PIERCINGs!!!!
Addicted to CROWNS, MICKEYS & SKULLS, you'll know what to get her if you want to get on her good side!
Sadly guys, she claims to be "nothing but an UGLY-duckling"
And the best for last! GUYS! SHE'S 101% GUAI KIA.
Status: UP FOR GRABS (if you dare)

Thank you very much Contestant Number 1! Let's move on to Contestant Number 2!

#2: baBiiEdeviiL gerL !!!

Goodness me! Doesn't her picture just scream: DEPRESSED & LONELY? Or maybe she's just unwanted. Nevertheless,
baBiiEdeviiL gerL is highly emotional, hates to be hurt and loves living in darkness! (a cave perhaps?)
She ADORES her lifeline, aka her handphone, DANCING, Music, Basketcall, volleyball, LOLLIPOPS, cutesy stuff like: HELLOKITTY, PRECIOUS MOMENTS, CHARMMYKITTY, MICKEY N MINNIE MOUSE, BABY POOH BEAR . (yessiree you can be sure that'll be on her endless christmas wish list.)
She also has maaannyy Jies/Kors/Meis/Didis
Status: Desperate.

Aww...that was so sad...NOT. Ahem. Let us proceed on to Contestant Number 3!


#3: CloUdie!!!

CloUdie has what. 70 accounts in Friendster! The last time we checked, 69 were FULL. Oh well. Don't fret people. I'm sure she'll create more accounts to kill time.
CloUdie is a coMplicaTed lady with an aTtiTuDE!
Warning: Don't mess with her and her maanyy siblings.
She also enjoys ShoPpInG, SiNgiNg, dAnciNg, SmEaRinG MakE Up On,
nEoprIntzZzZz, mANiCureXx, SurPriSes(try jumping out at her. That's a surprise) PiNk & CutIez Stuff, gOinG to BEacH, jAp PosErXx, HeLLo KitTy, and of course, her big BIG eyes. O_O
Status: Messed up lurbbe life.

Yeah...Let's just welcome Contestant Number 4!

#4: -xIaOsI-!!!
-xIaOsI- is an independent young lady, who ironically is very emotional and self-concious.
She ADORES her handphone, is a nEopRiinT freak, enjoys DANCING, SINGING, and shopping. Other abilities include talking nonstop and posing.
She is 'loved' by many many many many siblings.
She also loves to fall in love. o_O
Sadly, she claims to be FAT, short, and has attitude problems!
Status: Hanging on to a poor dude.

Right...that was um, ironically facinating! Let's move on to Contestant Number 5!

#5: ' missyJOANNE!!! (once again, her photo is so ugly that it has corrupted her part of the post)Her other hobbies include talking nonstop, singing, sleeping, smsing and slacking! (so many asS' huh!)
Warning: Has UNLIMITED% attitude, can be very vulgar, and has many many maaannnyyy "caring siblings"
Status: MARRIED.

*cough* Thank you Contestant Number 5!

Take a break readers! Rest your poor, poor sore eyes. We'll be right back after these announcements.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Aunties and Uncles, Grandmas and Grandpas, please take note that you can cast your votes by clicking on the COMMENT link, and typing "Contestant #__,contestant's name , leave comments (optional)"

Secondly! Please take note of the puke bags located under your chairs. If it is not there, raise your hand and one of our ushers will bring a few to you. If no assistance appears after 5 mins, you'll have to get your own puke bags. Please dispose of the um, filled puke bags by flinging them at the faggoty ah lians on your way out.

Ps: if you did raise your hand for over 5 mins, you have no grey matter up there.
Back to the show.


Contestant Number #6 please!

#6: rei strawberi reiko!!!

ReiRei is a KAWAII gerlx who has been very active in contests!
Joining BbnGg Kawaii Club and Bubux Leng lui club, she would very much like your support, as quoted,"ur vote rei rei will appreciate! thanks! muaxxxx!"
She enjoys candy, PINK, and smearing make up on her face.
Status: Attached. (OMFG the poor bloke)

Let's just move on shall we? Contestant Number #7 please!

#7: -xiAo qing-!!!

Sadly, not much is known about -xiAo qing-.
A photo-maniac, this narcissist has 42 photos of herself on her Friendster.
She enjoys being lazy, chatting, eating, sleeping and swimming.S
he also enjoys useless cutesy decor to help her fill up the empty void of space on her profile.
Status: Single desperado.



On to Contestant Number 8!

#8: CINDY ' xD (no photo available currently. Had problems with her photo. Maybe it was so ugly that blogger couldn't upload it. *shrugs* we'll try to upload it ASAP)

CINDY ' xD enjoys reading japanese comics, sleeping, DANCING, SINGING (at Kbox), going to arcades, and ditching school!
WARNING: Has many "protective" siblings!
Status: Lurrfe probleemxX (who gives a damn?)


Thank you very much Contestant Number 8! Let's move on to Contestant Number 9!


#9: -MinMin-

-MinMin- has foriegn blood!
She loves PINK and blue, prefers hanging out with females, likes to come online and chat with her female friends and go SHOPPING.
She claims herself as lazy and enjoys sleeping and eating.
-MinMin- also likes cutsey stuff like "xiiao zhuu zhuu"
She's either not very confident of herself, or is a very truthful person, as she quotes,"Hehe, very stupiak de!!"
Status: Attached to a suffering lad.


Well thank you Contestant Number 9! FINALLY, we come to out last contestant...
Please give it up, for Contestant Number 10!!!!!!


#10: XiiaO Qiing -C-

A photo-freak, Xiiao Qiing -C- really knows how to decorate her self-photos! Showing off her photoshop skills and useless attention-seeking decor, she might as well put her background as her pwn photo.
She loves PINK and blue, as well as KAWAII, punk stuff.
She also enjoys DANCING and SINGING, taking photos of herself.
A sassy cheerleader, she can't stand "play bois"and people who hate or lie to her! (basically almost everyone)
WARNING: She has many many "cute" caring siblings!
Watch out or she'll attack with her "cheer spirit"
Status: MARRIED.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??? CAST YOUR VOTES NOW!! POLLS ARE OPEN TILL 26th of August so HURRY!

This show has been proudly brought to you by AALteam.

Regarding our Previous Post...

We were kidding. LOL.







Oh well. Bugger to those who actually tagged their happiness.
Happy National Day to all. (:

Oh all right. We're REALLY sorry

Fine. This arguements are getting very stupid. So we'll just close down the blog. It's really pointless to argue over lians/bengs/good english. If they want to be lian, let them! If they don't like using good english, so let it be. You don't like the blog? We'll close it down asap.

aal#2

We're Sorry.

It appears that our blog is not very popular with some humans like 13-year-old dawn, wei zhong, anti-noob, and other random anonymous people. Those few people with such powerful english and GREAT reasoning for defending twits with their handy-dandy dictionary have actually convinced us that it is sooooooooooo CHILDISH to have this blog here.

The only thing that hurt our feelings was that they claimed we copied MOT. MOT is totally original, and so were we. All Ah Lians should go look for dawn, wei zhong and anti-noob if you ever need any help. From their tags, i'm quite sure they will be more than willing to befriend and get to know you.

So, with the great 3 of defenders convincing us that we shouldn't bully innocent ah lians, we realize it's so silly to argue over such a trival matter, and we will be closing down. Thanks all.





let us strive to help poor girls like these.




best regards.
aal#2.

Oh The ''Clothes''

Well i guess it's time to talk about what clothes they wear...first of let me name some of the clothes they wear... 1) really really really really short skimpy skirts that are so short its about a foot long from their hips 2) ice lemon tee/pmk/newbie etc etc shirts or spaghetti straps to call it 3) those netting things on their hands/arms/legs 4) loads of pink hairclips which do nothing what so ever to keep their hair up 5) rebonded hair 6) basically anything cheap too.. that is about some of the things they wear and stuff...

alright now lets talk more about those 6 points...
number 1--- what's with the damn short skirts you tell me... it's pretty much revealing your whole legs not like we like to see your fat elephant legs come on it's so short it should be counted as indecent exposure and you all call it fashion shessh(now i'm not saying all people who wear short short skirts are lians but 90% of them are anyways)..
number 2--- well not much to say here i doubt those brands wanted to be ah lian brands but thats what they wear anyways (the same applies as the short short skirts thing only 90% okay... 95% of them wear it)..
number 3--- netting's as accessories? what a freaking joke i tell you.. now if you haven't seen one it's like your everyday fishing net only it's wrapped around their hands or used as ''stockings'' in black or pink of course... now some of you might think ''it's not lian what it's punk'' but screw you go take a good look yourself like i was saying if they wanted accessories why use a net? why can't they be normal and just wear bracelets oh wait... because their lian... so this also applies to the number 4th point of the day which talks about all those pink hairclips/ribbons that they use which are in mass amounts but never ever keep their hair up infact you could slap all of it off and the lian's hair will look the same that's how useless they are i say lians are also fond of hanging big ugly pinkish stuff on to whatever the hell they got to make it look cOolx but of course we all know it's not true and that it's as ugly as they are...
number 5--- rebonded hair? hello? have you noticed how freaking straight your hair is already? and your still rebond your hair? how dumb ass shit is that you tell me... i mean it just spoils your hair i'm not surprised if they go bald before 40 if they haven't died of smoking/drug abuse that is and the last one ( obviously not literally the last one the list just goes on and on)
number 6--- cheap stuff they buy from bargain stores which they claim are ''expensive one okayys'' like perfume and all that to make themselves look classy which doesn't work...
So take a good look at yourself tell me is that what any normal person would wear? i mean if you want cool clothes i think that's further away then anything so if any of you might be wearing those and doing those things i suggest you get some real clothes before you turn into one of them and have everyone hating your guts...

Bah To Lians!,
aal#1 out.

Fib vs Fact

As we all know, ah lians have their gangs. Be it a 20-member-strong gang or a group of 4 girls, a gang is a gang is a gang.

Now some of you may be already grumbling and cursing. WTF is a gang! Can you define gang! MY GANG. MY FRIENDS OKAAYYYY! Whatever, you frilly little freaks. However, i shall answer your long-desired question, with help and reference to The Little Oxford Dictionary.

gang 1 n. set of associates, esp. for criminal purposes; set of workmen or slaves of prisoners. 2 v.i colloq. join up; act in concert with.

Behold. The meaning of gang. The exact words from The Little Oxford Dictionary. Note the words criminal purposes, and how gang is related to slaves and prisoners. Right. Back to the point.

Fact: Ah lians go around in gangs. Whenever they cannot or do not want to do their dirty work, they call their gang. For example: You pissed an ah lian off in school. Before you know it, you have unfamiliar males pacing outside your classroom, with the ah lians at the side, trying not to be noticed, but fail miserably. OH PLEASE. Any idiot can tell the morons pacing outside like wild freak animals were called by the ah lians. As reinforcement. And when you DO confront them, they deny the fact that they belong to a gang, and those were their kor/di/hubby/etc bullshit.

Fib: Ah lians claim their gangs are their friends who understand them. WAKE UP YOU FAGGOTY FREAKS. Let me ask you. When you're bankrupt and in jail because you and your gang killed someone. Who's going to bail you out? Those gang members who escaped won't. They'll RUN. Far far away. They'll cut off any ties with you. Change their handphone number, e-mail, msn, friendster, blog. The answer: YOUR FAMILY.

Oh sure. Curse and swear. "Miiee famiilyy dunch understannd miie derrhx!!! Deyy dunch care! onnlii noee how tuhh kaobeh miie and scoldx miie!!!" scream. cry. spit vulgarities. Hurl insults at those who have raised you up for, what. Your whole life? Give you cash? PAID for your education in hoping you'll learn and secure a good job that will support you for the future. And what do ah lians repay them with? Skip lessons. Get into trouble. Smoke. Get pregnant with someone which you had a CRUSH on. Spend money on rebonding your already freakin straight hair as well as damaging it. Mutating your body with multiple piercings. What the fuck. Who supported you more. Family or friends? Do be reminded that parents who actually bother to give you cash CARE for you. They want to hear your problems in life and be a part of your life. What do ah lians do then. OMFG i have a biiiiig problem and now i'm going to tell my BESTEST BESTTIE in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD and not my parents! Let's keep the ones who gave birth to me in the dark. They don't need to know! My bestest friend who could turn on my anytime she/he likes HAS to know! Soon, the whole gang knows. Whoopie-doo-dah. Intelligence meter: -100.

Ah lians aren't that smart after all. So you're in a gang. WHO CARES. While you think you are the ultimate and the world owes you and is friggin scared of you and your gang, there are people who gossip about you. OMG. SHE'S IN A GANG. Stay away from her. She's bad news. If that's one way to be popular, i'll rather jump off a cliff.

aal#2, out.

Defenders of Ah Lians

Hey! well this is Aal#1 writing off the first and obviously not the last post for this blog! now now i shall start it all off wahahah starting with the title ''Defenders of Ah Lians''. i do wonder whats with these people defending Ah Lians... have they already brainwashed your pathetic little minds and making you do their dirty work? while they go out and make total whores of themselves? Really now that sucks if that was true then again do you even know what they are capable of? well first look at the way they dress(i shall blog on that some other time), secondly look at the way they type!(also some other time) if you'd ask me thats not english at all! So i say to you Defenders of Ah Lians wake up your idea unless you really want to be with them but i tell you it won't be fun not one bit they might act all kind and sweet(yuck! that killed me to say that), but their not all that at all infact their the most vile creatures you'll ever meet and those of you who are ''Defending'' them to make new friends..... ............... .......... my deepest sympathy for you. Anyways seeing this is the first entry and all i'll just end with, Welcome All! Enjoy your stay, and of course feel free to comment. *Aal#1 signing off*